This Is What Happens When I Don't Get Off At A Workshop...

My workshop today - with Kevin Mockrin from Junie Lowry Johnson's office - was pretty disappointing.

Instead of putting us with partners, we read with him (On the whole, I prefer having a scene partner at these things. But reading opposite the casting person is better "practice", really, since that's what you'll be doing at an actual audition - reading with the casting person, or a "reader").

He gave me a very short scene from Desperate Housewives (Gaby is asking her priest - played by Yours Truly - to marry her and Carlos, just two weeks after the death of her husband Victor).

The scene was short, not uproariously funny, in my opinion, and the priest doesn't have much to do in the scene beyond register his chagrin at Gaby's behavior. I just didn't feel there was much to "work with"; basically, it's Gaby's scene (He should have given the scene to a woman, while he read the priest).

I did okay with it, and got some laughs ("Yes Gaby, the nine a.m. mass is still at nine a.m."). But "doing okay" and "getting some laughs" is not what I'm looking for at workshops, cause I'm pretty sure casting people don't come away from these things remembering the people who did "okay".

The actor who wants these workshops to pay off with work, not to mention the actor who wants to strut his stuff and gain/keep the respect of his fellows actors, wants scenes he can fly with, not scenes where the "reader" gets all the best lines.

(But to play "Devil's Advocate" with myself for a moment - Yes, I want to get really funny or dramatic scenes, whatever the case may be, that show the casting person just what I can do. Why wouldn't I? But the reality - for now, anyway - is that the kind of thing I did today is the kind of thing I could actually get called in for. And as I recall when I saw the actual episode, the guy playing the priest didn't bring the house down either...because, after all, the show isn't called Desperate Priests.)

But, long story short, I didn't get my acting rocks off today, and frankly, I felt jealous of the people who did.

For the record, this isn't the first time I've had this frustration (Sometimes I get good scenes, but often, I get scenes pretty much like today), and I'm betting it won't be the last time, but I'll spare you the full-on rant for now.

Afterwards, Molly told me she had an audition on Monday with Nan Dutton, for a "recurring" role on CSI Miami.

Pretty big deal, to go from not having your SAG card yet, to going in for a recurring role on a network show.

She got it because Ken (Her roommate Jen's boyfriend, who's going to be a villain on this coming season of Heroes), mentioned her name in passing to Nan Dutton...on a day he was juggling three auditions (For the record, I've had two auditions so far this month. But anyway...).

She wants to book it, of course, and I want her to book it, but I also told her that, whatever happens, it's a huge "win" - if she goes in and does well (Which she will), and for whatever reason, doesn't book the part (If she loses out to someone better known, for example), they'll still have seen her - she'll be "on their radar", and it won't be the last time she'll get in that office (For the record, the only part of this I said to Molly was that it was "a huge win").

While I don't begrudge Molly this opportunity at all - I recently wrote that she's "completely ready for the big leagues", or words to that effect - I just wish I were getting opportunities like that.

I really do.

Well, this just isn't going to be my most positive entry; I'm feeling a little "poopy" right now.

But while my goal on this blog is to be positive more often than not (In here, and in life in general), I also can't shy away from the fact that being a professional actor also involves wrestling with doubt and insecurity and other unpleasant, unsavory emotions.

And to succeed, you have to work through that crap, and come out on the other side.

And I will, trust me...just not right now.

(And I still want to write about those movies I saw yesterday. But I think at this point, we'd all be better served if I went outside and took a walk.)