Got a lot on my mind, and no time to get to most of it, but here goes nothing...
The topic at my weekly Weight Watchers meeting yesterday (Lost a pound this past week, BTW) was about combating our A.N.T.s (Automatic Negative Thoughts).
Of course, the leader was talking specifically about negative thoughts relating to food and weight loss and what-have-you, but after the meeting, my thoughts turned to my acting-career A.N.T.s (Worrying about my looks, my age, the current lack of auditions, etc. and so forth; basically, me looking for reasons why I'm not going to make it).
My life would sure be easier if I wasn't constantly assailed by doubts, but unfortunately, I don't think those doubts are going anywhere.
So the best I can do is use the same intellect that dredges them up to argue against them.
Fortunately, it's one thing I've gotten better at with age, because in this environment, it's easy to be overwhelmed by the odds against you. And it's easy to "go negative", as a way to steel yourself against the pain of rejection and (possible) failure.
It's particularly easy for me to "go negative". I've got some serious "skills" in that department.
But I want to quit spending so much time and effort "going negative", steeling myself against "the pain of rejection and (possible) failure", and start spending more time and effort "preparing myself for the rewards of financial and creative success".
And who knows? Maybe thinking my "A.N.T.s" aren't going anywhere is the biggest A.N.T. of all.
Maybe in time, I'm going to get so good at arguing against my doubts and negative thoughts that my mind will start thinking "Why even bother being negative? Old 'Master Debater' here will just argue us out of it anyway...".
It could happen.
Monday, September 15, 2008
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