Losing The Battle, But Winning The War

(Just started this blog, and I'm already "falling behind". But anyway...)

The Campbells thing isn't gonna happen. Mildly disappointing - it's always nice to book things, after all - but only "mildly"; my bills are getting paid, I'm not going hungry, and it's not like it's going to be an especially funny or memorable spot, so in the great scheme of things, it's no big deal.

I was actually more disappointed over a commercial audition I had last Wednesday (For a mysterious spot identified only as "Project X", that was supposedly for some computer product, but with copy that had nothing to do with computers).

That audition took place at an agency I like - Kathi Knowles - where they typically give you a really good shot at doing your best. And there was copy, which I like, and it was a funny spot, which I also like, and I'd left pretty good about my chances. I'd gotten a chance to "act", and had felt good about what I'd done.

I didn't even get a callback.

Which just goes to show - As an actor, you have no idea how these things are going to go. You can't see yourself (Which is why "on camera" classes are a good idea), you don't know what they're looking for, and in all likelihood, you'll never know why you didn't book the gig.

So unless you totally screwed up - which most of the time, you probably didn't - you can't attach a lot of "meaning" to any one audition. You just have to, as much as humanly possible, do your best, then forget about it and move on.

That's something, seven years down the road, that I'm still "working on".

The way I've come to look at auditioning is that, realistically, I'm going to lose most of the time. That's just "the nature of the beast". So to spend my time being heartbroken every time they say "thanks, but no thanks" just doesn't make sense.

But by the same token, I have enough faith in my "look", and my "talent", to feel confident (on my good days) that I can win often enough to make headway in the business. And to, over time, have something resembling an honest-t0-God "career".

On Sunday, I had a special day-long casting workshop with Nan Dutton, the casting director for CSI Miami.

Nan is quite a character - big, loud, very profane, and very funny - and she was worth the money for the entertainment value alone. But looking past the bombast and the f-bombs, I think she imparted some pretty valuable information.

I haven't seen the show in years - shame on me, really; I should have made a point of catching an episode or two before she came in - but at the end of the day, I didn't feel like I'd made any big impression on her (I don't think I'm the type of actor they typically need for the show, and with the way she was name-dropping, I don't think she has any interest in "discovering" a middle aged character actor when she could be finding "the next Brad Pitt").

But like I said about commercial auditions - You can't really see how you're coming across, and you don't know what they want (Or what they may want in the future), so who knows?

Somewhere down the road, a part might come up on the show that I'm exactly right for. And the little "seed" I planted on Sunday will grow into the guest-star role that takes my career to the next level.

It could happen.

And that's one of the things that makes doing what I'm doing worth doing.