The Forbidden Love-Child Of Brad Garrett & Dennis Franz

(Thanks to everyone who ad-clicked like crazy yesterday when dropping by - I'm already at over $38 this month...!)

In other happy monetary news, I got a nice little residual check in yesterday's mail, for the AT&T Yellow Pages commercial I shot earlier this year.

For maybe an hour or so afterwards, I was a happy little actor, thinking about how that check would just about cover groceries for the month, or put a serious dent in next month's rent.

Then I went to the bike shop, to get new tires (The old ones had both developed slow leaks, and were balder than I am), then to Lightning Media, to have 25 copies of my demo reel made.

Between the two expenditures - which were both way more than I thought they'd be - I had maybe enough money left from my "nice little residual check" to do a load or two of laundry.

(Riding my bike as much as I do, and hating flats, I opted for high-tech, flat-resistant, teflon-coated tires, innertubes, rim liners, etc. And it cost a pretty penny, but now I have bike tires that can take a direct hit from a small-caliber handgun...which is pretty important here in L.A.)

In all honestly, I'm a lot happier about spending money on bike tires than I am about spending money on copies of my demo reel - At least with the tires, I experience an immediate benefit, and don't feel like I'm throwing money down a hole.

To explain - My manager sent out an email to his clients a day or two ago: He's going to some kind of "Manager-palooza" thing next weekend, and wants to take along any "promotional materials" we have - Headshots and resumes, postcards, demo reels, etc. - so he can hawk us to agents, casting people, etc.

Now, I know I shouldn't be a glass-half-empty, "Negative Nelly"-type actor, but it's hard to imagine, at ManagerFest 2008, that agents and casting people will be beating the bushes for the middle-aged "forbidden love-child of Brad Garrett and Dennis Franz" (As someone once described me), instead of pretty, 90210/Gossip Girl actor-bots.

Harder still to imagine that Brett (My manager) is going to spend a lot of time peddling my wares, when he has "stars" like Kim H. (Who recently got a lead in her first independent film, that played at Tribeca), and Joe W. (Who was "recurring" on Gray's Anatomy last year).

(Though Brett actually should "peddle my wares" - Cause while it's unlikely I'll ever be a "star", there's every likelihood I'll still be working 20 years from now, long after Kim and Joe have had their day.)

But even though I don't feel terribly positive about this event, and the chances of anything meaningful happening, it's also possible lightning will strike.

Cause it's always possible that lightning will strike.

And if it does - If a big time casting person goes up to Brett's table, wondering if he just happens to represent any middle-aged actors who look like "the forbidden love-child of Brad Garrett and Dennis Franz" - I want Brett to be able to say "Have I got an actor for you...!", as he hands him (Or her) my headshot and demo reel.

(If you're new in town and/or new to the business: If you have a demo reel, or when you get enough footage together for a demo reel, don't waste your money getting a zillion copies made. It's not neccessary - Except maybe in situations like I've just written about. Instead, make sure you have your reel online, at someplace like Actors Access, so if someone asks about your reel, you can send them the link...and everyone's happy.)

The Waiting Part

(Hey, let me start out by saying I hit almost $25 worth of ad clicks for this past week, so...thanks!)

Just got back a short time ago from dinner at Jen and Molly's place in North Hollywood (Jen was going with her boyfriend to the Magic Castle, and looked like a million bucks. Which, to be honest, made me feel a little horny and a little heartsick at the same time, since I've had a crush on her for the past couple years. But anyway...).

A number of people had stories to tell about auditions and callbacks, and even about getting some honest-to-goodness work.

I'm happy to say that my reaction to hearing about other people having auditions and booking jobs, while my career is an arid wasteland, has gotten a little more...sophisticated over the years.

For instance, I don't wish those people dead anymore.

This is progress.

And I don't call their talent into question (All of the people in question are talented enough that they should be in the position of going out and booking jobs).

I don't begrudge them their success. I just want to play too.

But to put a more positive spin on things, at least this suggests The Great Slowdown Of 2008 might be easing up. So while I'm not going out right now, there's renewed hope that I will this week, or next, or soon.

But I do feel like I have to acknowledge a certain reality - I'm running into something that was one of the main reasons I avoided "walking this path" for 20-odd years; I'm as talented as any, and more talented than most, but I'm an odd-looking duck.

A really odd-looking duck.

And that being the case, I'm going to have a harder time getting cast in a lot of things, while watching a lot of people no more talented than I am going out a lot more, and getting further, faster, than I'm going to.

I knew that going in.

Add that reality to my relatively advanced age, and you have a couple of pretty formidable challenges to success.

But that said, I'm not the first ugly guy to ever come out to Hollywood, and I'm not the first guy to start a career in middle-age - Other talented folks have done it as well. They've faced the same challenges I have, and they've succeeded.

And so will I.
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All That Jazz is one of my favorite movies.

Early in the movie, we see "Joe Gideon" - the Bob Fosse character played by Roy Scheider - high in the air, on a tightrope.

Then we hear him, in voiceover, quoting tightrope walker Karl Wallenda (Who had died maybe a year before the film began production) - "To be on the wire is life. The rest is waiting."

Then we see him, in slow motion, falling off the wire - symbolizing, with sledgehammer subtlety, that the movie we're about to see will be the tightrope act of Gideon/Fosse's drinking, drugging, cheating, workaholic life coming to an end.

"To be on the wire is life. The rest is waiting."

When I first heard that line in the theater, back in 1979, I knew exactly what he meant.

I feel that way about acting. Always have.

Still do.

It used to seem romantic.

Now it seems like a problem

"Hamlet 2" Met My Low Expectations

I went to the movies yesterday, because I was "bored".

I don't typically go to the movies just for "something to do"; I think that kind of thing leads to seeing bad movies, and when you see a bad movie, you're basically telling bad movie-makers, "Please make more of these".

And as an actor - not to mention a person who likes movies - I don't want that.

But like I said, I was really bored yesterday and didn't know what to do with myself.

And since there's not much out worth seeing right now (That I haven't already seen), I walked down to the Los Feliz 3 and saw Hamlet 2, a movie I suspected was not really worth my time.

My verdict?

While it wasn't so bad that I felt guilty patronizing it - because "now the filmmakers are going to make more like this..." - It wasn't all that good either; I'd say my low expectations were pretty much met.

In short, you really don't need to rush out to see it on my account; it was funny in spots...but only in spots (My biggest problem was Steve Coogan - You're supposed to root for his character, but I mostly just found him annoying. And that's not good when you're talking about the lead).

If you want to see a movie about an untalented person (Or persons) putting a show together, I'd stick with Waiting For Guffman, still "the gold standard" for this sort of thing.

But if you just need to get out of the house, and you're looking for laughs, go see Tropic Thunder instead (And if you're already seen it, see it again - It's definitely a better value for your movie-comedy dollar, even on the second go-round; I would have watched it again last night, since it's at the Vista, just a stone's throw from the Los Feliz, but I'm seeing it next week with a friend).
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I'm still reading The Eight Characters Of Comedy, and realizing, as I read about "The Materialistic One", that it's the one type of comedic role I actually couldn't do; I don't look wealthy, I've never been wealthy, and most importantly, I "just don't get it" - I've never felt my primary motivation in life was to acquire more "stuff", and I don't really understand those who do feel that way, so it would be tough for me to "find my way into" a character like that.

At the end of each chapter on the "eight characters", the author lists examples of each type throughout sitcom history.

And I noticed that, while there are specific examples of each type I've enjoyed watching over the years, the ones I'm least like personally and least likely to be asked to play are also, in general, the character types I'm least likely to think of as "favorite characters" (My favorite characters are much more likely to be "loveable losers" and "neurotics" than "bitch/bastards" or "materialistic ones").

And that makes sense - I think you "bond" to a character on tv (Comedy or drama) because you relate to them in some way; you're like them, you're afraid you're like them, or you wish to be like them.

Anyway...

Seems like there was something else I was going to write about, but I sure can't think of what it was...

But I guess it'll keep, whatever it was.

Fitting In

I just saw this youtube.com/watch?v=afR5J7eskno online...

I went in for it not too long ago; it was a very secretive affair, identified only as "Project X", so I didn't know it would be the first commercial of Jerry Seinfeld's new campaign for Microsoft, and that my "co-stars" would be Jerry Seinfeld & Bill Gates.

I'm almost glad I didn't get it.

I say "almost" only because money's money, after all (And the spot is going to run a lot).

But in my opinion, the spot isn't funny, or particularly effective as advertising (If this is Microsoft competing with the "Mac vs. PC" ads, it's an "epic fail", as the kids say); I'm a fairly bright guy, and I just don't understand how Jerry Seinfeld and Bill Gates in a shoe store is selling us on the virtue of Microsoft.

And I don't think it does Seinfeld any favors, beyond making him another $10 million he doesn't need anyway; it's just going to add to the growing perception that Larry David was clearly a bigger reason for the success of Seinfeld than most of us realized at the time.

What's interesting is that when I went in for the spot, what I thought what was funny - to the degree the copy was funny - was the plight of the poor, beleaguered shoe salesmen (Who are just bit players in the completed product). Cause that's really the way the copy reads.

(And you could do the very same spot, shift the focus, drop Gates and Seinfeld - who, shockingly enough, aren't very good actors - and have a very effective PSA for staying in school: "Get an education, or you could end up like this".)

It reminds me that, yes, I want to make money, but it's also really important to do things that are good, things that are funny (If they're supposed to be funny). Things that work, that do what they set out to do.

Cause even if it's just a commercial, I want it to be a good commercial (If I'm selling soap, I kind of want you to want to run out and buy soap afterwards).
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But speaking of "funny"...

I'm currently about two-thirds of the way through The Eight Characters Of Comedy; A Guide To Sitcom Acting And Writing, by Scott Sedita.

Sedita devotes some time to "Sitcom History", "Half-Hour Technique", etc., but naturally, the bulk of the book is about his "Eight Characters", eight comedic archetypes that pretty much cover all the sitcom characters you can think of - breaking down their character traits, their underlying motivations, listing famous examples throughout sitcom history, etc.

I think the book is definitely worthwhile, particularly if you're coming in from "ground zero" comedically (The early part of the book, on "Half-Hour Technique", is worth the price of admission all by itself).

For me, a lot of what I'm reading is either stuff I've heard before (During a 4 week "comedy intensive" with casting associate Nick Anderson, who was working on My Name Is Earl at the time, and is now on Desperate Housewives), or stuff that feels kind of self-evident.

But the book has still served a good function, which is to make me think about how I "fit" into tv comedy, where I belong in the comedic scheme-of-things.

Actors tend to think they can play anything, and this actor is no exception - I think there are circumstances where I could play any of the "Eight Characters" in question - but being realistic about who I am and what I look like (What I naturally "bring to the table"), I'm most likely to be cast as "The Loveable Loser", "The Neurotic", or "In Their Own Universe", and least likely to be "The Bitch/Bastard", "The Womanizer/Manizer", or "The Materialistic One" ("The Smart, Logical One" and "The Dumb One" are judgement calls - Again, I think I could play either and it wouldn't be bad casting...but in most situations, you could probably do better).

It's something that isn't necessarily a comfortable process - trying to see yourself how others see you, for one thing, and admitting who you essentially are as a person for another - but it's pretty important to know what you have to work with as an actor.

(It just struck me - When you do that, if you do that, you can turn personal failings into professional strengths.)
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For the past couple years, I've tried to make a point, during each new tv season, of seeing as many new shows as possible (Like reading The Eight Characters Of Comedy, I watch the shows thinking about where I "fit into the equation"...or where I don't).

To that end, I recently DVR'd Raising The Bar and Sons of Anarchy.

As an audience member, I was not knocked out by either show.

But I give the edge to Sons Of Anarchy, because Ron Perlman is a more compelling actor than anyone on Raising The Bar (And I don't like Mark-Paul Gosselar as much as Stephen Bochco obviously does).

And Sons Of Anarchy, about a criminal motorcycle gang that runs a small California town, is a somewhat more original premise than yet another legal drama.

As to where I "fit", I could imagine being cast on either show, but again, cause Sons of Anarchy is something a little different, I think that would be more fun (Though there's something to be said for getting in good with Stephen Bochco. Cause if he likes you as an actor, he hires you over and over again; he really seems to enjoy having a "rep group" of actors).

And on that note, I'm going back to bed, so I can dream of the day I'm acting on tv shows and not just watching them...

Finding The Perfect Theater (Opportunity)

Paying this month's rent - which goes up every year at this time - has once again got me thinking, "Man! It sure would be nice to book a gig...!".

But anyway...

Well, I've broken down and signed up for a couple workshops this month - one next Thursday and one the following Thursday - but I think that's okay (They're casting workshops, after all; It's not like I'm reneging on my vow to stop doing crack...though I'd say there is a certain "addictive element" involved in both enterprises).

Right now, workshops are the only thing I've got telling me I'm "making an effort" in my career. Which is both the reason I want to keep doing them...and why I feel like they're something of a problem (On top of the previously-mentioned, "I'm getting tired of paying people to let me act, and no one paying me" frustration. Though that "frustration" is mixed with the satisfaction of showing casting people what I can do, and the fun of strutting my stuff in front of my peers).

In terms of doing theater, which I keep braying about to anyone who'll listen, I've bought a couple copies of Backstage West recently, have checked in periodically at Actors Access (Actors Access is part of Breakdown Services), and have bookmarked a website called Auditions.com, but feel like my efforts have been scattershot and half-hearted at best.

So what's the problem?

Part of the problem is that I tried to do theater when I first came out here, years ago, and didn't have a single good experience; I quit one production during rehearsal, was fired from another during rehearsal (Actually, before rehearsal even started), passed on another gig (Because it was basically a bit part for a show way out in Downey, and what would have been the point?), and in the only play I've actually done out here, a bad one-act called Crossing The Line, I was cast - I still don't understand why - in a role that was clearly written for an elderly black man (The role was double-cast, with me alternating performances with...an actual elderly black man).

That string of shitty experiences spooked me. I assumed there had to be good theater to do somewhere in L.A., but I sure didn't seem to know how to find it.

And now, while I want to do theater, I still don't want to do bad theater. I want to be proud of what I'm doing - otherwise why am I doing it? - and I want something that shows me off to best advantage (Meaning, amongst other things, that I'm not up for being a chorus boy). Cause there's no point in doing things that aren't going to be satisfying, and more to the point, things won't make a casting person say "Wow--Who is this guy?...".

And I don't want to do theater that's too far away (Because one of the reasons to do theater here is hoping someone will see you, and casting directors don't want to schlep out to Long Beach to see you do a dinner theater production of Ten Little Indians).

But where is this magical place, that's doing shows I like, with roles I'd be great in, that's near enough that I don't have to drive (That's another thing - I'd rather not have to drive), and that I could maybe bribe a casting person or two into attending?

I don't know. And I hardly know where to start.

But the thought that it's what I should be doing continues to nag at me.
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Watched the final season opener of The Shield last night.

And while I just said I wasn't going to go on about why I want to act in here, I will say this - All day yesterday, I was excited about the show that evening.

And it reminded me when I was younger, at the movies - I would be happy to be at the movies, excited, looking forward to the show, and I know at some point it hit me, "Wouldn't it be cool if people were as excited to see something I was a part of as I am right now...?".

It's not my only motivation for being an actor...but it's definitely a big piece of it.

A Pretty Funny Script

Yesterday, my car battery was stolen.

Since I just bought a new battery about six weeks ago, I was not especially happy to have to shell out more money for a new new battery.

(I now have a running tally of "things I've had stolen since living in LA" - from bike lights, and bikes themselves, to my car's hubcaps and registration tags - which is a definite downside to "life in the big city".)

"So what's that have to do with acting", you ask?

Well, I wasn't happy about what happened yesterday - It wasn't "fair", it was money I didn't want to be spending (Especially when there isn't much money coming in), and it was going to be a pain in the ass to deal with - but I dealt with it.

And one of the ways I "dealt with it", emotionally, was by writing a funny-snarky entry about it on my other blog.

Afterwards, I thought about how I'd brought my sense of humor to bear on the situation, and wondered why I have a much harder time doing that with my acting career.

Cause, after all, I'm a funny guy.

I imagine a sense of humor helps in most walks of life, but it's particularly important in acting - not just in bringing humor to the characters you play, but in dealing with what can be a tremendously difficult and stressful occupation without losing your mind (Or in my case, "losing what little mind I have left").

I'm not yet personally familiar with the difficulty and stress of succeeding as an actor, but I imagine it has its challenges (Maybe the #1 challenge being dealing with the fear that the success could go away at any time).

But I'm intimately familiar with the difficulty and stress of being a "struggling actor". And if you can't laugh at the business, and at yourself, from time to time, it will eat you up.

And I don't want to be eaten up.

I'm pretty good at making the most of a funny script, so now I just need to realize that the pursuit of an acting career, and sometimes life itself, is "a pretty funny script".

Why Ask "Why"?

Since starting this blog, I’ve given lots of thought, when I’m not writing, to what I’m going to write next; since the goal is to update daily, I’m constantly thinking about potential topics.

And for awhile now, I’ve thought it would be interesting to write about “Why I Want To Act” or “Why I Am An Actor”. Explaining to you, and maybe clarifying for myself in the process, the motivation behind my desire to act.

But on Saturday, I saw the documentary Man On Wire - about tightrope walker Philippe Petit, and how in August of 1974, he and a group of confederates, under cover of darkness, strung a wire between the twin towers of the World Trade Center so he could, come morning’s light, “dance” back and forth between the towers, hundreds of feet in the air - and something he says at the end of the film really struck me.

He’s asked by reporters afterwards “Why did you do it?”, and his response was to say, basically, “There is no ‘Why’”.

Now that sounds very enigmatic to me - very “French”, if you will - but I actually kinda/sorta “get it”.

I think he was basically saying “Who cares why I did it? What does it matter ‘why’? The point is, I did it”.

In that sort of situation (Why someone would choose to do something most people would consider crazy), “Why?” is a boring question. A pointless question.

The answer you get is going to either be bullshit, because the person giving you the answer doesn’t really know “why”, or else it’ll just sound facile and silly when reduced to some one-line, bite-sized “motivation” (“Because it was there”, “Because I could”, “Because I wanted to be famous”, etc.).

In the film, Petit in the present day still seems almost offended by the question, saying, “I give you something magical, something beautiful...and the only question you have for me is ‘Why’...?”.

“There is no ‘Why’.”

So what’s all this have to do with me?

I should be long past reflecting on “Why” I want to act, why I choose to act. I should be beyond that kind of navel-gazing when it comes to acting.
At this point, it doesn’t matter. And it’s not the most interesting, meaningful, or important question I should be asking myself at this stage.

Besides, I know. At this point, I know as much as I’ll ever need to know about “Why I Act”. It’s “beside the point” now, the “point” being “I’m an actor”

And I don’t think it’s the most interesting thing I have to say to you, Dear Readers. I’m not 100% sure what the “the most interesting thing I have to say to you” is at this point, but I’m pretty sure that ain’t it.

Besides, if you’ve been reading along, and you haven’t gotten a sense of “Why” I do this just yet, I’m pretty sure you will before we’re done.