Tales Of A Character Man

An Earthquake in LA...But The Real Disaster Is My Online Journal

2010-03-16T10:22:00.000-07:00

I have just experienced the downside of an online journal - I went to Diaryland.com, the website where I've kept an online journal since the latter part of the 90s...and it's gone (There's just a "This domain name for sale" page where Diaryland used to be).

I'm hoping this is just some sort of temporary glitch. But if not, it's not the end of the world - I hope - because my friend Jane has been archiving my entries (I hope she's still doing it, anyway!). But end of the world or not, it's definitely...disconcerting.

So anyway, I'm here, writing in this journal I basically abandoned back in 2008 - because how many journals does one man need, after all? (Though maybe more than I realized, all things considered!) - hoping that Diaryland will come back somehow.

(Because even if Jane has all my back entries "on file", that's still going to be a serious pain-in-the-ass if/when I want to put them back online.)

Well, I actually want to write a real entry - because I have things to write about and I have fallen seriously behind - but I'm also feeling the need to get myself cleaned and dressed, because I have one task I need to do (That, because it consists of a couple "mini-tasks", is taking me forever), and if I don't get it done today, when I have absolutely nothing else I have to do, I'm going to be very unhappy with myself.

2009-05-17T12:40:00.000-07:00

I haven't posted in here for quite some time.

I intended this to be a paying venture, but sadly, that didn't pan out (Tip: if you have ads on your website, don't tell your readers, "Hey, click on my ads!". It's apparently "unethical"). And the fact that my "paying venture" wasn't going to, in fact, pay, "let the air out of my tires" a bit.

And since I already have a personal journal, and am on MySpace, Facebook, and Twitter besides, it would seem my need to express myself just for the sake of expressing myself has more than enough outlets.

But I still think this blog might be of use - to me, and maybe to the odd reader or two as well - so here we are.

It's been a very slow year for the "Character Man" - Few auditions, no callbacks...and no bookings.

What's happening?

Is it the economy? Is it a "slow time in the business"?

Is it something I'm doing? Something I'm not doing?

The Best Year Yet

2008-12-24T00:42:00.000-08:00

Well, here we are - Christmas Eve Day, 2008.

While I could get another audition before the year's over (The town's pretty much shut down at this point, but JS - my commercial agent - says there's always a few casting people still at work), I've gotta believe 2008 - good, bad, or indifferent - is basically over.

Going into this past year, I had serious concerns - The Writer's strike was going on, and SAG's contracts (in both Theatrical and Television, and Commercials) were set to expire - and while I remember hoping against hope I'd somehow be able to build on the success of the previous year, I was more worried going into a new year than I've ever been before.

So I guess the good thing I can say about 2008 is that there were still auditions to go out on, and I still booked some jobs.

And I'm still here.

But while I haven't actually counted yet, I can say with almost 100% certainty that I had fewer auditions than in the past two or three years.

And I booked fewer gigs (Four this year, versus six last year), and made substantially less money than in 2007.

(And that in a year where I, somewhat inexplicably. decided to try to go totally "freelance"; I haven't worked a full-time, regular job since the end of May.)

And honestly? With the exception of doing the infomercial with John Cleese (My first real "brush with greatness" out here), none of the jobs this year turned me on - Not the Yellow Pages commercial (My most lucrative gig this year, but that's not saying much), or the "Principal" role in the low-budget feature film that was really an extra role, or the Wimax print job.

It all, frankly, felt like junk. And it certainly didn't involve much that you could call "acting".

On the whole, very hard not to see this as a very lackluster, disappointing year.

And who knew, early in 2008, that SAG and the AMPTP would still be snapping at each other at this point, with no deal having been made and SAG trying to get its members to go for a strike vote?

And who knew the economy was going to go belly-up? (Probably a number of people, really, but I didn't.)

So here I am, at the start of another new year, feeling pretty much the same way I did last year at this time - hoping, praying (In my atheistic way), that I'll somehow be able to "swim against the tide" and have some decent success, but deeply worried about what the coming year has in store for me.

But my look has changed pretty radically in the past year - I've lost around 80 lbs, and am sporting a clean-shaven look for the first time since I was eight or nine - and I'm hoping that'll create new interest in the "Character Man" brand.

And while things look potentially grim in a couple regards, I have to believe that good things are going to happen for me.

Who knows? Maybe even great things.

What's the point of my giving over to doubt and fear? No matter what, the tv and film industry isn't going to be shutting its doors, and if there's anything going on, why can't I be part of it?

I have to believe that good fortune can happen to me (Which is a reasonable thing to believe, because it has happened to me). But maybe more importantly, I have to start believing that I can draw good things to myself, that I can effect my surrounding and my circumstances by the things I do.

I have to go into the new year with hope. I have to.

This is what I want - Not to just "get by", not to just "survive", but to thrive as an actor.

And that can happen in the coming year.

I'll get my chances, and I have to be prepared to make the most of them.

Cause I don't want to go through 2009 afraid and unhappy. I refuse to.

Instead, I think I'm going to have my best year yet.

Just. One. More. Job.

2008-12-14T21:55:00.000-08:00

This is always a "challenging" time of the year for me.

And one of the biggest "challenges" is that, as the year draws to a close, I always want to "end on a high note" (i.e. by booking "just one more job").

So I bounce between hoping-against-hope that "the year isn't over yet", and having to to reconcile myself to the fact that, at some point, if "the year isn't over yet", it might as well be.

Things traditionally slow down this time of year, and I doubt it helped that I had to book out twice in the past month or so - first for my head injury, and this past week for hernia surgery (My second hernia, by the by) - so while it's possible I could sneak in an audition or two over the next few weeks, 2008 is probably all but over.

And it was, career-wise, a disappointing year. I didn't book as many gigs as the previous year (Four this year, versus six the year before), and with the exception of the infomercial with John Cleese, the gigs this year, in a word, kinda sucked.

But I did still go out, and I did still book. I made money as an actor, as I believe I have every year since I came out here.

And that's nothing to sneeze at.

I got a check recently for the Yellow Pages commercial - for $391 and change - and the Coldstone settlement (For $1700) is waiting in the wings. And I periodically get small residual checks as well (Mostly for my Monk episode, but also sometimes for Nip/Tuck), so it's not as if acting isn't bringing in any money.

Just not what it had the year before...and by a substantial amount.

But more important than the money - ! - is the fact that, once again, I didn't do anything this year that really felt like "acting", and none of the things I booked were things that anyone's really dying to see.

And the point of all this, in my mind, in addition to making money, is to do stuff that actually entertains someone.

Well, maybe next year...
_________________________
On Tuesday, the day before my surgery, I went to a place on Olympic Blvd that advertised "Instant Headshots", had a mini photo-session (The photographer took a total of 23 pictures), paid the guy about $80...and am happy to say, got some pictures I can actually use.

(I wasn't happy initially - first and foremost, because I'm an ugly motherfucker, which can't really be helped - but the more I've "lived with them", the happier I've become; headshots basically just have to look like you, and have some personality to them, and as it turns out, I don't need to spend $400 and have a photographer take hundreds of shots to make that happen.)

I showed them to my commercial agent yesterday, and he picked out a couple he thought worked for our purposes (And I trust his judgment on this sort of thing more than I do my own).

And the fact that he didn't say "Congratulation Asshole! - You just blew $80, cause these pictures suck" made me pretty damned happy - I'm glad I have a cheap place to do decent headshots. That's a pretty invaluable resource.

It's something I've needed to do for a long time, and when I had to shave for the print shoot, it seemed a good time to take the leap (Since not only am I many lbs heavier in my current headshots, I also have a mustache).

When my agent saw me, in person, without the 'stash, he said it made me look substantially younger. Which to me, are pretty much "the magic words" - I'm very concerned about "aging out of my category", so anything that keeps me looking generically "middle aged" longer is a good thing.

It's a challenging period of time. The economy's gone belly-up, SAG and the AMPTP are still fucking with each other, and it's hard to know how I'm going to get from "here" to "there".

But that, my friends, is the goal.

Bigger and better in 2009.

(More to come...)

One For The "Win" Column

2008-11-26T08:58:00.000-08:00

Shot my first print job yesterday (In spite of laying my forehead open less than two weeks ago), for something I've never heard of called Wimax (A new Internet service - I guess the "new" part is why I've never heard of it).

They were shooting a series of print ads, with a bad/better/best theme (Basically saying "Wifi is like this, and 3G is like this. But with Wimax, it's like this").

So three of us were in the ad I shot - a guy completely bald on top, a guy fitted with a bad comb-over, and a guy with a massive afro.

Demonstrating, I guess, that Wimax is the hairiest Internet provider.

I was "Comb-over Guy" (or "3G Guy", if you want to think of it that way).

My call time was 9:00 a.m., at a location off Sunset I could easily have rode my bike to, which would have been my preference (We went from a first location to a second location, which is why the production person told me I should drive, but the two locations were maybe a mile apart, if that. But anyway...).

My spot didn't shoot till after lunch (chicken taco, rice, salad, and a sliver of pumpkin pie with a teaspoon of Cool Whip), and it was pretty tedious going - no acting/interacting with each other, but just the three of us standing in a row, looking this way and that, smiling and not smiling, as per the director's instructions.

Kind of weird, that the least-fun part of the day involved actually doing what I was there to do.

It was tedious, and thanks to my as-yet-unrepaired hernia, it started to become pretty uncomfortable just standing up for the length of time it took to shoot the three of us (We were basically just standing on the sidewalk on Sunset, in front of an interesting stone wall, so we had to periodically stop for passerby).

After we were done with that, they took pictures of each of us individually (I don't remember if I was the second or third one up for that, but in any case, I'd had a chance to sit down for a few minutes, and happily, it didn't take long).

The shoot was boring and uncomfortable. But unlike the boredom and discomfort I typically experience (in my "civilian" work life), I was very well-compensated for my troubles; the job paid $1000 (Which, after taxes and JS's cut, will still pay my rent for a month, with enough left over for a trip to Subway), so I'm not going to bitch too much about it.

And there were other...compensations; in addition to getting paid, and getting fed, I enjoyed the ministrations of Jenni, my attractive - and I think age-appropriate - English makeup woman (Who, between applying my "comb-over" and dealing with my forehead, had to spend a fair amount of time on me).

So, while I still long for the day I'll be "well-compensated" to actually act, any day where I make $1000 to have my picture taken belongs in the "win" column.

The Wolfman Takes A Dip

2008-11-13T08:12:00.001-08:00

Seems my desire to write in here has been blunted substantially now that there's no longer the lure of easy money...

Blunted, but not eliminated altogether.

Not too much going on in my "career" (Ooooh...putting "career" in quotes suggests I'm not feeling too positive about the state of things, doesn't it?). Though I was happy to get a second day of work out of the infomercial; seems they ran substantially short on their running time for the spot, so they needed to write some more pages to "stretch things out".

And Yours Truly was part of the stretching process.

(My initial un-happiness when I got the call about shooting some "pick-ups" had to do with an instant, irrational feeling that I "had done something wrong", that I hadn't been good enough, somehow. Which is stupid - needing to get "pick-ups" is on the director, not the actor - but there it was, hanging out in the stupid part of my brain.)

This second day of shooting was at the Director's house, just off Coldwater Canyon in Beverly Hills (Not a mansion or anything, but spacious and nicely appointed - impeccably decorated, with a pool and a view - representing a lifestyle to which I could easily become accustomed).

My bits were shot in and around the pool, which meant I had to do much of my work shirtless, a prospect I was pretty unhappy about going in (I'm a very hairy guy, something I've been sensitive about every since puberty struck, early and hard, when I was five or six years old).

But I did it, because that's what you do - I'm an actor (A middle aged, funny-looking, and yes, hairy actor), and vanity/insecurity/whatever you want to call it, doesn't really serve you well in that role.

Anyway, shooting the new stuff went very quickly - from call time to wrap, I was there for just two hours - and now I get to look forward to another check for another day's work.

So three cheers for "pick-ups"...!

Television - Only My SECOND Biggest Addiction

2008-10-29T18:28:00.000-07:00

I have no idea if anyone's still reading this blog - I'm guessing not - but it hardly matters: I journaled for years with no one reading what I wrote (long before the word "blog" was invented), so while a readership is nice, it's not strictly necessary.

As I write this, I'm looking at an envelope on which I've written the titles of everything I'm regularly watching on tv right now.

On Monday, I watch Terminator, Chuck, and Heroes (I tried My Own Worst Enemy, but don't feel the need to "put it in the rotation").

On Tuesday, I watch The Shield (For now - There's only three episodes left till the series finale).

On Wednesday, I watch Bones and Pushing Daisies.

On Thursday, I watch My Name Is Earl, Kath and Kim (I watched the pilot- which was terrible - then fast-forwarded through it last week - easier to do that than skip it when programming my dvr), The Office, 30 Rock, Ugly Betty, Grey's Anatomy, and Life On Mars. Big night.

On Friday I was watching The Ex-List...but it just got canceled

On Saturday I watch...nothing

And on Sunday I watch Desperate Housewives, Brothers & Sisters, and Mad Men (I also watch Dexter, but since I don't have Showtime, I watch it after the fact on the Internet).

I also watch Lost, Psych, Burn Notice, The Closer, Saving Grace, and In Plain Sight, none of which are on right now (I'm assuming the cable shows, which are all of them but Lost, will be back in January; I'm not sure when Lost is back).

Outside of those shows, I will watch House now and again (I just watched the most recent episode on Hulu), Monk, Jon and Kate plus 8, Family Guy, and - if I can stay awake for it - Robot Chicken.

I'm also a big fan of So You Think You Can Dance (But not Dancing With The Stars - I lost interest when John O'Hurley got robbed the first season).

I was watching Boston Legal till just this year, but it got too dumb for me, so I dropped it (Which I might do with Heroes as well, for pretty much the same reason).

Looking over this list of shows, the first thing I notice is that I don't seem to be a big fan of straight procedurals - No CSI's or Law & Order's on the list.

Also not a lot of "reality" (Other than Jon & Kate) - I gave it a try (I used to be a fan of The Real World years back, watched the first seasons of Survivor and Big Brother, and saw a season or two of Project Runway when a friend from Michigan used to send it to me on video before I got cable), but for the most part, "reality" doesn't give me what I need.

But the biggest thing of all I notice? Is that, while the shows I've listed represent hours and hours of tv watching (Not to mention all the "grazing" I do, and all the movies I watch on tv), I spend nowhere near as much time watching tv as I do on the Internet.

If you'd ever told me, back in the day, "You know what? Someday you'll spend more time playing on a computer than watching television", I would never have believed you.

Not in a million years.

Live and learn...

The Clock's Ticking...But This Year Ain't Over Yet

2008-10-23T22:54:00.000-07:00

Since the infomercial shoot, things are slower than I'd like them to be here in Actor-land.

Granted, it's been less than a week-and-a-half since that happy experience.

But while you might think I'd still be "buzzed" over "that happy experience", I'm kind of over it at this point.

Cause life goes on, Jimmy needs cash, and I'm on a tight schedule - I've only booked three gigs so far this year, I want to do better than last year (when I booked six gigs), and I'm running out of year to work with - which means I need auditions raining down from the heavens, so I can book...

1) The national commercial that will keep me afloat for the next year or two.

2) That really nice co-star role on a hit show that will impress my friends and make casting directors take notice (Cause before next year's out, I want to start being in consideration for guest-star roles).

3) My first movie role, in something that will, again, "make casting directors take notice" when they look at my resume.

4) That elusive job, whatever it may be, that will be fun (i.e. something that would actually involve me acting), provide a great payday, and allow me to work with an actor (Or actors) I know and respect (I still haven't had all three of those things come together yet...but a man can dream, can't he?).

I had a commercial audition last Thursday (for Budweiser), and one for Time Warner Cable yesterday.

In acting terms, they're nothing. But as I've said a number of times before, "If you're looking to commercials to satisfy your acting itch, you're an idiot" (Well, I don't know think I've put it quite that way before...but that's what I meant).

So sue me - I'm still an idiot, almost eight years down the road, because I always hope, going into any given commercial audition, that I'll be the "hero" in the spot, that it'll involve me playing some kind of "character", perhaps to humorous effect, and that I'll get that nice, "getting well-paid for doing something really fun" feeling I've been seeking since Day One.

Neither spot is that spot...but that doesn't mean I don't want to book them (Especially Budweiser, since that's a national).

Cause if I book then, they'll pay me.

And money is cool.

But beyond the making of money - and keeping homelessness at bay and all that - I really do want something to happen before the year is out that makes me feel like I really did something (Working with John Cleese was cool; working with John Cleese, or someone like him, in something people would actually want to see, and making a profit off it, would be cooler still).

It feels as if the year is coming to an end.

But I don't want to write the year off just yet.

I just want a few more good things to happen. I want to end on a high note, a hopeful note, a note that tells me, "Things are looking up".

Don't let me down, 2008...

Slapping John Cleese

2008-10-15T21:15:00.000-07:00

My infomercial shoot with John Cleese was yesterday, in Pasadena (The product we were infomercial-ing for, for those of you interested in such things, was The Book Of Inside Information. But we could have been selling Crack For Kids, for all I cared - I was just psyched to be working with John Cleese.).

My call time was 10:30 a.m. And as I like to do for these things, I gave myself a lot of travel time - So much so that I got there a half-hour early, even after missing an exit and driving around Pasadena for a time.

(I often have some "directional drama" in getting to shoots - I'm a man badly in need of a GPS. But this time, the drama was due to a flaw in the directions and not the flaw in my brain; a fellow actor told me a number of people made the same mistake I did - following the directions we'd been given - with the same exit-missing, driving-around-Pasadena result).

Once I arrived at "base camp", there really wasn't anything for me to do - my scene as "Gas Station Manager" didn't shoot till after lunch - so I basically just "hung out", drinking Diet Coke, writing in my "book journal", and chatting at length with "Chriss" (And yes, I'm spelling his name correctly), the actor playing the "Bookstore Manager", in a scene that shot right after mine.

I'm not sure exactly what time it was, but maybe an hour-and-a-half or so after I got there, a van pulled into base camp, and John Cleese emerged (They'd just finished shooting a scene at a nearby grocery store).

When we made eye-contact at one point, I smiled at him, clearly recognizing him, and he gave me a wink.

He came over to where Chriss and I and a group of extras were gathered, but no formal introductions were made - We just made small talk about, honestly, I don't remember what (Except I do remember he was annoyed with the clasp on his watch band, and how badly it was designed).

When he retired to his trailer (He was the only one who had one), Chriss and I giggled like little girls over the fact that we were actually working with John Cleese.

Intellectually, I'd known I was "excited" to be working with someone like John Cleese. But it's one thing to know it, and quite another to actually be on the set, and "there he is...and I just talked with him, like we were just a couple actors on a shoot....!" (It was all I could do afterward not to squeal with delight).

Then we had lunch (I had salad, chicken, and more Diet Coke; I really wanted dessert - pumpkin pie - but I refrained).

My scene was the first thing up after lunch, so in short order, I was made-up, put in wardrobe, then driven to the location (a nearby Shell station).

It took a little while for them to set things up, but not that long - after they figured out how they wanted to block the scene for camera, they had me run through it with John's stand-in, and when the Director was happy with it, they called John to the set.

When he got out of the van, he approached me, we shook hands, and that was when I actually introduced myself.

He said, in a haughty tone, "Well, I certainly hope you're quaking in your boots, working with a big international superstar like me" (Or words very much to that effect).

I smiled at him and said, "I sure am".

Then he said, "Now I want you to slap my face".

Which threw me a bit (I wanted to be agreeable, but at the same time, I didn't want to break the star), so I gave him the very lightest pat on the cheek I could manage.

To which he responded, "Harder than that...".

I said, "What is this, Raging Bull?". But I patted his cheek, a little more firmly this time, and he was satisfied - "I just wanted you to know that you can knock me about...".

(I thought about it afterward; What would it be like, to be so famous, so beloved, that part of your job on a set is to calm down the other actors you're working with, because they're that excited to be working with you?)

At one point, he conferred with the director, then came back to me to tell me they were changing the script - He'd decided one of my lines was redundant, too much like stuff in other scenes (Which it was). He was also changing my first cue (Instead of asking me "Are your prices up or down?", he was changing the line to "Are your prices up...or are they up?". Which I actually thought didn't make sense in the context of the scene...but I certainly wasn't going to argue the point, since he's John Cleese and I'm not).

They walked him through what he was supposed to do a couple times (At one point, there was a bit of tension, because he was using a teleprompter, and he wasn't happy that it was mounted on top of the camera - He was concerned about the "eyeline" and thought he'd look as if he were reading), we did one or two run-throughs together, then we started shooting.

I wasn't keeping count, but beyond having to stop a couple times for technical issues (Extraneous noise and such), and once because John blew a line, I don't think we did more than three complete takes before they'd gotten what they wanted (As the director and crew were conferring as to whether the last take had been the take, John looked over at me and nodded his head, as if to say, "Yeah, that was the one". Which, frankly, made me want to break into song).

They briefly debated whether or not they needed to get any single shots of me, but decided it wasn't necessary, that the funny stuff was us being in the shot together...and we were done.

All told, the actual filming had taken maybe twenty minutes or so. It was over much too soon (Even John joked afterward, "That's it...?").

Everybody seemed very happy with me - I got lots of pats-on-the-back - and that made me very happy with me.

So my bit was done, and they were done with that location, so we got in the van to go back to base camp.

I was in the front seat, when to everyone's surprise, John came over, to ride back in the van with the rest of us.

(I got out to give him the front seat, but he piled in the back, and we were off.)

Back at base camp, we were kind of milling about - I was waiting to be checked out - and I told John I'd just watched the YouTube video of him talking about Sarah Palin (He's not a fan), which led to him doing a performance, just for Yours Truly, of the poem he'd recently written about Sean Hannity (Afterward he said, "Pretty good, huh? Rhymes and everything").

And that was the end of my time with John Cleese.

In very short order, I was signed out, and winging my way homeward (Happily, without directional incident).

All-in-all, a very good day.

I'll probably write more about this tomorrow - I actually want to write about "Chriss", who recently played a major role in An American Carol (He played JFK) - but for now, I think I'm going to see what's on the tee-vee...

Ok, Maybe AFTRA Isn't SO Bad...

2008-10-15T17:52:00.000-07:00

The day after I went to the AFTRA office and was told I had to pay the whole initiation fee before working yesterday's job, I got a call from the membership office - Turns out, I didn't have to pay the entire membership fee in advance, and could have just signed over my session fee towards membership.

It makes me a little embarrassed that I forwarded my last entry, in its entirety, to AFTRA.

(Kids, let this be a lesson to you - DON'T EMAIL ANGRY.)

Anyway, I had some email back and forth with Vince Albrigo, who apparently runs the "membership" end of things at AFTRA, and I think where we left it was that they're going to refund the difference between my session fee and the $1300-and-change I shelled out.

(I'm going to email Mr A. and make sure what I think happened actually happened. But long story short, it would seem that yesterday's gig, in financial terms, was a wash. Which is at least better than taking a financial hit for doing a gig.)

AFTRA Tells Me To Bend Over And Grab My Ankles

2008-10-12T14:28:00.000-07:00

I don't like AFTRA.

I didn't like them before I went down to the AFTRA office on Friday - You might say I've "drank the SAG Kool-Aid", but I truly believe they've sold the actors they supposedly work for down the river by consistently undercutting SAG on contracts - and I liked them even less afterward.

One of the few things actors like about AFTRA (And it's "one of the few things" because, after all, what struggling actor wants to work and make less than they'd make under a SAG contract?), is that "at least you don't have to pay the full initiation fee up-front" (When you book your second AFTRA job); if you don't have the money to pay the $1300 (And many actors don't), they'll take it out of your session fees.

That's what I'd heard, anyway.

Now granted, I was hoping to hold even that off for awhile, since things are "tight" (and getting tighter by the day), and I could really use the "session fee" for this job on Tuesday. But if pressed, I would have seen having to sign it over as an unpleasant, but not completely unreasonable, reality.

But no, the option to "pay as you go", so to speak, is only available on certain contracts (Like with Soap Operas, for example), and not on the type of job I'm doing - the agreement the producers of this infomercial had to sign with AFTRA stated that they will only hire AFTRA actors who are "paid in full".

No humanity. No "wiggle room". No compromise. No acknowledgment that most actors are lucky to make a couple thousand dollars from acting in any given year.

Just "pay up".

The struggles of actors are really of no importance to the producers (It's not like they couldn't find someone else to do what I'm going to do on Tuesday), and AFTRA couldn't care less - It just wants its money (As I said to them while I was at the office, feeling more than a little bitter about the whole business, "To me, you're just another big organization designed to separate me from my money").

The only person that gets hurt here is Yours Truly, who is in the crazy position of either being a struggling actor and turning down work (Because it doesn't make financial sense to accept it), or else taking the job...for an $800 loss. A loss that makes difficult times just that much more difficult.

(I'm going to net about $500 for the job; AFTRA membership and six-month dues cost me $1363.)

And for the poisoned cherry on top - I had to pay the six-month dues, but since we're at the end of a dues cycle, I'll have to pay it all over again next month.

(Cut me a break under the circumstances? Pro-rate the dues, which seems, again, like a reasonable compromise? Of course not - It's just about getting their money.)

If you sense I'm fuming here, you sense correctly. Getting work is supposed to be a happy thing for an actor - Being a professional actor is mostly about getting rejected, about being an also-ran. But every so often, you win the prize.

Who knew this prize was going to mean going $800+ into the hole?

Representin'

2008-10-10T11:32:00.000-07:00

Well, this isn't as clearly a positive development as booking the John Cleese thing (More on that in a moment), but it still feels like a "step in the right direction" (And it could be a much bigger deal in the long run) - On Wednesday, I signed with a new theatrical agency.

Long story short, I'm just not getting out enough. And auditions are the name of the game - I've confident that, if you get me out often enough, I'll book.

But I've gotta get out Pure and simple.

And Brett, my Manager, was still securing more auditions for me than Vicki L./Direct Talent (My Agent).

The goal is to find an agent that gets me out so much I don't need Brett, who's functioned more as a quasi-agent, submitting me for things, than an actual manager (Which begs the question - Why am I paying him 15% for doing the work of an agent who would get 10%?).

(What makes that last bit - the desire to kick Brett to the curb - a little "awkward", is that the meeting with this new agency - Actors LA - came about as a result of the "Manager-Palooza" thing Brett attended a couple weeks ago; they looked over his "stable", and I was one of the people they wanted to call in.)

Anyway, I had the meeting Wednesday afternoon, in North Hollywood.

They liked me, I liked them, and most importantly, they seemed very confident they'd be able to get me out (Did I mention earlier how that's "the name of the game"?).

They wanted me to sign "across the board" (Meaning commercially and theatrically), but I've had a fair amount of success with JS (My commercial agent), so I wasn't up for that (Which seemed to give them pause, but they didn't argue the point too hard).

They also debated with themselves about signing me when they've got "Frank", an actor who's apparently like-me-but-not-exactly-like-me, before determining that they've been a little disappointed with old Frank anyway (Apparently, he's not booking as much as they'd hoped).

They'd already seen my reel, but I guess to make sure they weren't buying a pig-in-a-poke, they asked if I had a monologue I could show them (I did part of the opening bit from The Good Doctor, and they were satisfied).

I actually signed a one-year contract with them, which is a new thing for me - I don't have written contracts with anyone else on my "team" - but I'm okay with that; they're SAG-Franchised, so it's a standard contract, and it has a four-month "out clause" (Which I assume goes both ways) in case things don't work out.

Anyway, I feel hopeful about it.

And right now, hope is "the name of the game".
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A short time ago, I was recharging my cell, and when I finished, I saw I had a couple voicemails.

There's mild trouble in John Cleese Informercial Land.

Basically, I need to sign up with AFTRA, to be signed up with AFTRA, before the shoot on Tuesday.

My understanding - backed up by Brett - is that typically you can do the AFTRA paperwork on the set; you fill it out along with the normal W-2 stuff (Which is why Brett told me I could just go, fill out my paperwork, and just not fill out the form signing over my paycheck to AFTRA).

But apparently this production company is new or new-ish, hasn't had a lot of dealing with AFTRA, and doesn't know the drill.

So now I'm going to have to go down to AFTRA and sign up with them directly.

I talked to Brett, and he told me not to pay them anything when I do, but I don't know how I'll proceed if they tell me I have to, or they won't let me do the gig.

In a word? Fuck...!

(But let us assume we are all reasonable people here, and that there'll will be a way things can work out to satisfy all parties. Yes, let us assume that.)

Booked It!

2008-10-08T01:17:00.000-07:00

Got a call late yesterday afternoon from my manager - I booked the infomercial with John Cleese.

It was a lovely surprise, because I'd reached the point where I was, while still trying to "hold out hope", pretty sure that ship had sailed.

Turned out it had not.

It shoots this coming Tuesday, and right now, that's pretty much all I know.

As I've said before, it's an AFTRA gig, so the money is not great - we're definitely not talking about a "game-changer" here - but it's money I didn't have before, it allows me to "get the ball a little further down-field", and that's good enough for now.

And beyond the most immediate issue of "the money", who knows what positive effect this could have on my career? Maybe none...but I have to believe starting to get work involving famous people like John Cleese is a step in the right direction.

Feels good to win one!

Call Me Pollyanna

2008-10-05T15:31:00.000-07:00

When I started this blog, I hoped for a couple things:

1. To be reporting on lots of auditions and bookings.

2. To be making some money (From the ad thing).

Now money is off the table (I know - I've got the little Paypal "donate" thing up, but I'm not expecting anything from that), and auditions and bookings have been so rare this year, I'm wondering if I'm still actually an actor.

And I haven't worked since May, I have a job (With Weight Watchers) that it turns out doesn't come with regular shifts or hours (At this point, I'm a "sub")...and the money just keeps draining away.

And I'm having pain in my lower abdomen; nothing serious (At this point, it's more "discomfort" than actual pain), but since the first time I felt "discomfort" like this (In the 80s) I had a hernia, and the second time (A couple years ago), I had to have a bowel resection and spent a week in the hospital...well, let's just say I'm a little concerned.

(Called earlier this afternoon to make a Doctor's appointment; I'm waiting to hear back, to see if he can "fit me in" this week. Otherwise, I'll have to wait till sometime next week.)

In short, there have been better times to be me.

But, to be fair, there have also been worse times to be me.

But "keeping my sunny-side up", I'm not out of funds yet.

And there's every reason to hope Weight Watchers will pan out better than I'm imagining right now

And there's always the hope of "getting a check in the mail" - Either from JS (For the AT&T spot, or for a renewal of the Comcast promos), From SAG (a residual check from one of my co-star spots), or from Coldstone (I filed a claim with SAG because Coldstone ran my commercial on their website past my contract's expiration date).

And even though the pickings have been sparse, there's still always a shot at getting more auditions, or booking something from the dribs and drabs I'm getting now (Booking anything would be helpful, to be sure. But in pure financial terms, a national commercial would be "just what the doctor ordered").

And regarding my mystery abdominal pain?

Well, I can always hope it's "nothing".

And if it isn't?

At least I have insurance(Till this coming July).

And that, my friends, is how a struggling actor holds off panic and fear for another day...

A Strike? Now? Really?

2008-10-02T09:52:00.000-07:00

Just got an email from my commercial agent about the SAG negotiating committee calling for a strike authorization vote.

My first response was, "Now...?".

I am not at all well-versed in how to negotiate, but I just can't see how a strike would be successful right now - with the WGA strike, and the SAG/AMPTP uncertainty, and the economy, and whatever else has been going on, I've had a dismal year (in terms of auditions and bookings), and I'm pretty sure I'm not alone here.

So how are you going to get the rank-and-file to even go for a strike vote? What do you expect them to say - "Yeah, it's been an awful year, and I'm really hurting, but sure - I'll vote to assure I won't make any money from acting for who-knows-how-long"?

I actually agree with SAG on the issues, as I understand them. But when all the AMPTP has to do is say "Look at the economy - it's as bad as it's ever been, and these rich, greedy actors still want more money...", and SAG won't have a friend in the world, how exactly does a strike succeed?
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While it could still happen - the "hold" is for the 13th-17th of the month - hope wanes that the infomercial with John Cleese is going to turn into an actual gig.

And even if it did, it would just be a band-aid over what's becoming the gaping wound of my finances.
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I tried yesterday, on a whim (And without success), to look at a cheaper apartment about a 40-minute walk from where I live (It was the first day on the job for the apartment manager, and she apparently didn't have keys for the apartments yet. Which seemed odd, but whatever).

It's a crappier building, in a sketchier area, and undoubtedly, an apartment I'd be much less comfortable in (A "bachelor", as opposed to the comparatively spacious "single" I've lived in for the past six years or so), but the price would be right - almost $190 a month less than I'm paying now (Under those circumstances, what I'm now paying for rent alone would cover all my monthly bills, except for food).

And what's this have to do with acting, you're wondering?

From my perspective, it feels like an object lesson about how an acting career can wax and wane, and how there are just no guarantees; last year I was, in relative terms, "on top", and now...I'm having to consider moving from an apartment I'm very comfortable and happy with, to someplace that will definitely be a step (or three) down, just to be able to "stay in the fight".
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I emailed my commercial agent a response to his FYI about the SAG thing, pretty much expressing the sentiments about a possible strike that I just shared with you.

He just emailed me back:

I HEAR YA AND I'M RIGHT THERE WITH YA!

On one hand, I believe that the actors deserve what they're asking for but on the other hand, I think it's just the wrong time to strike.

Things are not great in our industry. The "big guns" continue to get wealthier and everyone else gets to scramble for the scraps.

You're a good type and a talented actor so I do hope you work things out to your personal satisfaction and continue pursuing your acting career. There are many actors that I would encourage to pack-it-in and head outta dodge but you're most definitely not one of them!

I hope to keep JS afloat by keeping my roster lean and my overhead even leaner!

Jon

(I like my commercial agent.)

There's really nothing to do here but hang on, hope for the best, and do what I gotta do till the storm blows over.

Wish me luck. Cause I could use some right about now.

OOPS...!

2008-09-30T10:40:00.000-07:00

If you're a regular reader, you may notice there are no longer any ads on my page.

Google AdSense emailed me today, letting me know me and my account have been deactivated.

Forever.

You know all that pimping I was doing for my readers to "help me out" by clicking on the ads?

Turns out, I wasn't supposed to be doing that.

If I'd read through all the "dos and don'ts" - which I thought I had - as I was starting up the blog, I would have seen that.

But even more to the point, if I'd just "thought things through", I would have known better.

I honestly didn't think I was doing anything wrong; I figured the advertisers wanted people to see the ads, and I wanted people to see the ads, so me telling you to click on the ads was "win-win".

But in the clear light of day, I understand how what I did (Getting bunches of people to click on the advertising who had no interest in the advertising, but just wanted to "help me out") was basically not providing much value to the advertisers in question, and causing them to pay out much more than they should have been, considering my small readership.

To give you (And me) some perspective: I just filed an online "appeal" of this action (Basically, "throwing myself on the mercy of the court", since I screwed up), and as I was nosing around in the AdSense FAQ/help sections, I saw a "publisher" had a question - "I used to get 11,000-15,000 page impressions a month, and was making $30. Now I'm up to 40,000, and I'm making $15 a month. What gives?" (A fellow "publisher" opined that "times are tough, and people just aren't as interested in buying stuff...").

In comparison to Mr. "40,000 page impressions a month", I was getting maybe 1,000 hits a month...and I just got a check yesterday for $107 - Clearly, a "red flag" to the Google folks.

So here we are - My first "get rich quick" scheme goes down in flames...

But I wanted to thank you, Gentle Readers, for your interest in my blog, and your desire to help me stay afloat. It will no longer mean a monthly check, but it is nevertheless very much appreciated.

I Got Plenty Of Nothin'

2008-09-29T11:23:00.000-07:00

At this point, I'd like to be reporting that "Yay! I booked the infomercial with John Cleese!"...but I got nothin'.

That could pretty much be the title of this entry - "I Got Nothin'!".

I got no gigs, no auditions pending, nothing.

(No workshops, even.)

But the thing that sometimes makes me crazy about "The Business" is also one of its saving graces - You don't know what's going to happen next; I could end up not booking the infomercial, and not having any auditions for the next month...but I could just as easily book the gig, and have "the audition that makes all the difference" tomorrow.

Or the day after that.

Or the day after that.

I wrote about how being "on hold" for the infomercial was a good thing, even if I don't book it, because now I have an inroad at that casting office and what-have-you.

But I don't think I said how, even if "'close' only counts in horseshoes and hand-grenades", and I need actual bookings, and it's "painful" to get so close and lose, it still means something to be reminded that "I've got game", that even when I don't win, I'm "in contention".

That it's not just "wishful thinking" to assume that, if I don't book this one, I'll book the next one.

I found myself thinking yesterday about getting a $7000 check from my commercial agent last year. And how, while I haven't seen any four-digit acting checks in quite some time, it happened, so there's every likelihood it'll happen again.

And if it were to happen again fairly soon? That would be cool.
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Speaking of money and checks and all that good stuff...

September is almost over, and I still haven't gotten a check from Google AdSense for all the ad-clicking you nice people did last month.

I'd have to double-check, but I think how it's supposed to work is that, once you pass $100 worth of ad-clicks in a given month, they send you a check, which you're supposed to receive by the end of the following month.

And here we are, at the end of "the following month".

In any case, I will be keeping you all apprised of the situation, since I feel like you've become partners in this little "keeping me afloat" venture of mine.
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Last night, I went to IOWest (For the uninitiated, "IO" stands for Improv Olympic), with fellow ACG'ers (Molly, Patrick, Stephanie & her boyfriend Nick, and Jim K.), to see our friend Silvia's "Rehab" pilot, which she starred in and co-wrote.

(I thought the show - 22 minutes long - about the crazy staff of a rehab facility, was problematic, but Silvia acquitted herself quite well.)

Being there made me wish people were coming to see something I was in - I always feel that way as an audience member (Going back to when I used to see plays back in Lansing) - but even more than that, made me think I should really explore improv.

When I got home last night, I checked the website about classes, and as I expected, it ain't cheap - $325 for eight once-a-week classes.

I don't think that would be a frivolous expense, mind you, but it just doesn't feel like money I have right now (Not when my finances are such that I'm currently debating what monthly "services" have to go, and which ones I can keep).

But they're doing a free class on the 11th next month, and I think I'm going to try to get in on that. Just to see what's what.

Who knows? Maybe if I proceed "as if" the money will come from somewhere...then the money will come from somewhere.

A Tall Guy On A Short List

2008-09-27T12:02:00.000-07:00

(Thank you, "Blue-Sunflowers" and "Happiest Man In America", for the supportive comments after my anxiety-ridden last entry. They were very much appreciated.)

There's happy news to report today - Yesterday morning, while training at the 9:30 a.m. Culver City Weight Watchers meeting, I got a call from my manager; I am "on hold" for the infomercial with John Cleese!

"What does 'on hold' mean", you ask?

Good question.

It could mean I'm it, and it's just a question of them calling Brett back with the shoot day (Sometime between the 13th and the 17th of next month).

But I'm guessing - In part out of "emotional self-defense", and a fear of "getting my hopes up" - that it means the same thing an "avail" means on the commercial side - You don't have the job yet, but they want you to keep your dance-card open...just in case.

Basically, that I'm "on the short list".

Emotionally, I find "holds" and "avails" a pretty mixed bag (And I wish everyone would use the same phraseology about this stuff, so I'd know what the hell people were talking about); yes, a "hold" or an "avail", or whatever you want to call it, is better than not being "held" or "availed", or whatever you want to call it. It's something you should be happy about and take pride in.

But I've had a lot of avails turn into a whole lot of nothing. And it's painful - To want the job as badly as you do, get that close...and then miss out.

But I'm going to stretch my "positive thinking muscle" here, because

1) There's every possibility I'm the guy who booked the gig.

And wouldn't that be loverly?

The money would be negligible, comparatively speaking. But the "brush with greatness" aspect of getting to work with John Cleese? Priceless.

(And...)

2) Even if I'm not the guy who ultimately books the gig, this still has to be seen as a "win"; Kendra C. saw me at a workshop, and I made enough of an impression that she called me in. Then I made enough of an impression at her office that I won "First Runner Up" for the gig (Too bad there's not a cash prize for "First Runner Up" in this case).

I'm now "on the radar" at another major casting office, which is "the name of the game" (Booking the job is great, but there's also something to be said for making such a strong impression that, even if you don't book the job, they keep calling you in for other things).
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I heard about Paul Newman earlier today.

It wasn't shocking - he was older, and we knew he was in ill health (Diagnosed with lung cancer) - but it's still very sad.

He starred in some of my very favorite movies (Butch Cassidy & The Sundance Kid, The Sting, and Cool Hand Luke, amongst others), and was one of only a handful of actors I admired as a person as well as an artist (How could you not admire him as a person? In addition to his impressive body of work, he gave about a billion dollars to worthy causes, even before starting "Newman's Own").

Selfishly, I'm sad because a fantasy of mine dies with Paul Newman - like all aspiring actors, I've dreamed of getting to act with my acting heroes.

And how amazing would it have been, being introduced to Paul Newman before doing our first scene together?

(As I said to a friend I just spoke to on the phone, it makes me want to send Dustin Hoffman some vitamins, or write a note to Robert Duvall reminding him to eat right and exercise...)

Acting - Not Just My "Fantasy Career" Anymore

2008-09-25T09:03:00.001-07:00

Yesterday's infomercial audition went well, I thought.

It was at Donna Rosenstein Casting, in Burbank, at 800 S. Main, an address housing the casting offices of Reaper (A favorite show), Brothers & Sisters, Samantha Who?, and Kyle XY.

I was early - I've never been there, and am not sure I've ever ridden my bike as far as Burbank, so I gave myself a lot of time - and got in a half-hour before my appointment.

I was reading the part of a "gas station manager", who's apparently none-too-happy to have John Cleese at my gas-station with his Book Of Inside Information (My lines were, "Get out of here! We don't want your kind! And take your book with you!").

A "helpful hint" to my fellow actors - It's kind of important, when memorizing lines for an audition, that you memorize your cues as well.

(You'd think I'd pretty much have that down by now, what with a lifetime of acting behind me - But at yesterday's audition, it wasn't until right before I was about to "do my thing" that I realized I didn't know my cue, and had to quickly glance down at my sides to get it; for the record, it was "...every time you fill up".)

The casting person (Kendra Castleberry, who I've seen at a workshop), had me do two takes, telling me to "go really broad" on the second one, and I left feeling like I did fine, and it was just going to depend on "What they're looking for".

As I've said before - in wistful tones - the days when I left an audition knowing I got the part...are long gone (One of a number of things I miss about my community theater days); now the best feeling I have leaving an audition is thinking, "I did my best...and now it's up to them".

I never "know" I booked the part, but with a good audition, I'll think, "Well, I certainly could book this...".

A fun note; Going in, I ran into an actor I knew coming out (I'd done a commercial with him years ago), and one of the first things he said was, "You've lost a lot of weight! You look great!".

That was nice.

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I've been thinking a lot about finances of late.

Mostly because they ain't so good right now.

One of the biggest challenges I've faced since moving to LA is trying to figure out "making a living" while pursuing an acting career.

For one thing , it's much more expensive living in LA than it was living in Lansing, MI (When I moved out here and started working at Borders, I was paying more for food and rent, while making less, than I was in Lansing. And I don't mind telling you - it was pretty scary).

You also have to figure out not just how you're going to make enough money to live, but when you're going to make it, while leaving enough time for auditions and/or classes, workshops, plays, etc.

My inability to completely figure this out is one of the reasons I haven't done theater in years - I felt like making theater a priority would mean having to work during the day, which would mean having to put my job in jeopardy every time I got called for an audition (Stress I frankly didn't think I could handle). And since I came out here to work in film and television, and had to make money in the meantime...theater's gotten put on a longer-term "back burner" than I would ever have imagined.

But one way or another, people figure things out, because you have to (Well, some people don't "figure things out"; they're the ones who go back to where they came from, in defeat).

I struggled through early on (Particularly when my savings quickly gave out), working a low-paying job, living on next to nothing, relying on the kindness of friends and well-wishers to help me out more than once, until I got a commercial agent, and eventually started supplementing my low-paying job with low-paying commercial work (This was pre-union).

Eventually, through commercial work, I got into SAG (Screen Actors Guild), and the gigs, when I got them, started paying better.

Then, through a fellow actor living in my building, I discovered the ACG (Actors Co-Op Group). And through casting workshops, eventually started getting auditions for tv (and, much less often, movies), booking my first co-star roles.

(ACG was also how I got my current manager - He used to run ACG before moving into management, signing ACG over to Molly, who'd been his assistant.)

And last year, for the first time, I made substantially more acting than I did through my "straight job" (First at Borders, then at ArcLight Cinemas). In fact, I made more money last year than I've ever made before ever.

It was, in a word, thrilling (To give you some perspective - we're not talking "rich person" money here. More like "lower middle-class" money).

I paid off my credit card bills, paid my car and health insurance premiums in lump-sum payments, and paid my friends some of what I owed them (But only some. And that was a long time ago now, which bothers me).

I went back to Michigan for a visit. I went to a harmonica "Jam Camp" in nearby Irvine. I signed up for a gym membership. I got cable and high-speed internet.

And after a friend bought me an initial ten-week membership, I started going to Weight Watchers (Where I will soon be working).

I don't think it was an extravagant life, but it was certainly a better lifestyle than I'd enjoyed...well, ever, really.

And it was brought to you courtesy of "acting".

That was last year.

Then the Writers strike happened.

Then a lengthy back-and-forth between SAG and the AMPTP happened (And is still happening).

And you've no doubt heard about the country careening towards another "Great Depression"...?

And in the middle of all this, I decided, due in part to my unhappiness over some shifts in policy, to quit my job at ArcLight Cinemas, and go "free-lance" as an actor.

(The primary goal in coming out here has always been "to support myself as an actor" and not work a regular job. But I could see where you might question my timing in "quitting my day job". After all, I've questioned it myself. But that's stuff for another entry.)

What's my point with all this?

The kind of low-paying crap job I've held all my life won't pay the bills out here (Not even at a "baseline" level, let alone supporting the "cable and high-speed" internet lifestyle I've so enjoyed the past year-and-a-half or so). And working at Weight Watchers, while it may be more personally satisfying than things I've done before - we'll see - is basically, money-wise, another "low-paying crap job".

At my age, and with Sleep Apnea to boot, I don't have the energy for multiple jobs (Working and trying to make an acting career happen are two jobs right there), and even if I did, when would I act?

And even if I were to say "Screw it! This acting thing isn't going to work out...", I'd still have the issue of trying to earn a living with no serious money-making skills, education, or interests, as I'm pushing fifty.

I guess what I'm saying is something I've been aware of for a couple years now - Acting is not just my "fantasy career" anymore; I really need it to work out.

I have to succeed, because I genuinely can't imagine what happens if don't.

But for now, right now, I just need acting to "chip in" on the bills - I don't need to live "the high life"...I just want to keep the life going I have right now.

Out With "Earl"/In With John Cleese?

2008-09-24T09:37:00.000-07:00

(At this writing, I'm about $1.75 short of my $100 monthly goal - I need to get at least $100 worth of ad "clicks" before Google will cut me a check - so I'd like to take a moment to say "Thanks!". Your support of my efforts is very much appreciated.)

While I'm holding on to a razor-thin, "never say die" hope of getting a call about "Earl" today, I'm about 99.9% certain that ship has sailed; tv production typically moves too fast for there to be this much lag-time between a "producer session" and a decision.

Which means a decision has probably been made, and it didn't go my way.

Disappointing, to say the least - that would have been a nice credit, a fun day on the set, and I would have loved reporting my first booking since starting this blog (Not to mention I could really use the injection of cash right about now) - but life goes on.

I've said before that the best thing you can have happen when you don't book something is to have another audition right away.

I have another audition right away.

(Or pretty close to "right away" - this afternoon at 4:15, at Donna Rosenstein Casting in Burbank.)

It's an infomercial for The Book Of Inside Information (Apparently a tome on bargain-hunting), starring John Cleese.

The bad news?

It's an AFTRA contract, which sucks.

The worse news?

It's an AFTRA contract, which sucks, and I'm a "must-join", which sucks even harder - While AFTRA doesn't make you pony-up the whole membership fee when you have to join, like SAG, I think they basically garnish whatever wage you make under their contracts until you're paid-up.

(UPDATE: I just called my manager to ask about this - He told me that if I were to book the gig today, AFTRA would indeed want me to fill out a form letting them garnish my wages, to apply towards membership. But they can't make me fill it out - They'll just tack on a "late fee" if/when I'm deemed "late" in paying - so it's really no big deal.)

The great news in all this?

If I booked the gig, I'd be doing a bit with John Cleese.

And that would be cool.

(Interestingly, this is at least the third time I've gone in for a commercial starring John Cleese. I'm guessing that might be because he's so tall...but I'm going to tell myself it's because we're both so damned funny.)
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Continuing my effort to see the new fall shows, I've recently watched Worst Week Ever, a half-hour comedy, and The Mentalist, a drama (Both on CBS).

As a potential viewer, I could imagine watching either show again (Particularly "Worst Week"), but don't feel compelled to based on what I saw.

As an actor, they didn't use a lot of people beyond the series regulars on "Worst Week", so that didn't look too promising. But "Mentalist" has the advantage of any "procedural" show - a big cast, with a lot of guest stars.

Though somehow, I don't think "Mentalist" is going to be around that long; this is Simon Baker's third crack at a series, so obviously the PTB like him, but I don't think there's enough going on here to distinguish this show from any other procedural (And I think it's going to suffer because Psych, on USA, got there first with the "guy-who's-so-perceptive-he-seems-psychic" premise, and plays it for laughs).

With "Worst Week", I wonder how they're going to sustain the premise (likeable-schlub-has-serious-bad-luck), but at least it's a relatively original premise (Except, of course, for being an American knock-off of a British series).
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I was going to write about my finances vis-a-vis acting, but am realizing that going into it now would make this entry longer than I want it to be (In part, because I want to make time for a nap, if possible, between now and my audition this afternoon), so I think I'm going to save that scintillating topic for my next entry.

Screw The Doubts - I Done Good

2008-09-23T10:09:00.000-07:00

Still thinking about the Emmys...

Mostly I'm thinking about two things.

1) The five "hosts" from reality tv.

I've read website commentary suggesting that having five "reality show" hosts hosting the Emmys was an effort to give "legitimacy" to reality programming, to acknowledge that it's part of the tv landscape, and it's here to stay.

I don't buy it.

I can't see how putting five marginally-talented people in front of millions of people, giving them nothing to do (Who in the world thought that rambling, "We've got nothing..." opening was a good idea?), and practically begging the audience to compare them unfavorably to the major-league talents on display (Like Steve Martin, Ricky Gervais, Steven Colbert, John Stewart, Tina Fey, etc. - Any one of whom would have made a better host), could be seen as anything but blatant sabotage.

I genuinely think someone high-up wanted to "make a point" - "Without actors and writers, this is what you get..." - but clearly didn't think through the terrible repercussions. It's the only thing that even "sort of" makes sense.

(I guess they could have been trying to draw the "reality show" audience. But c'mon - Nobody watches American Idol for Ryan Seacrest; you watch a "reality show" for the show, not for the host.)

2) The other thing that struck me as particularly cringe-worthy was how they cut off Kirk Ellis, who won a writing Emmy for John Addams, right as he was talking about the series, "celebrating a time when our leaders spoke complex thoughts in complete sentences".

They cut him off for a promo of the next part of the show - the award for "Best Reality Show" (Not exactly stuff that celebrates people "speaking complex thoughts in complete sentences").

The timing was exquisitely awful; If I were an anti-TV guy - which I'm not - I'd be pointing at that moment, and saying, in my most pretentious tones, "And that, my friends, is why TV sucks...".

Seems like a moment you'd want to avoid on an award program celebrating TV.
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Well, I had my My Name Is Earl audition yesterday, at the "Earl" production offices in Van Nuys.

My appointment time was 2:00 p.m., but I didn't actually do my thing till around 2:30 (Their production meeting ran long).

As I waited in the lobby - I'd gotten there over a half-hour early - I was struck by the wide range of "types" they'd called in for the role ("Wow, they're really 'all over the map' here", I thought to myself).

But - Duh! - they had a number of roles to cast, so only a handful of actors were there to read for the "Boss" (It varies from office-to-office, but typically, an office may call in 20-30 actors for a "pre-read", and narrow it down to a half-dozen or so for the "producer session"; I was at a "producer session" yesterday).

Anyway, when the time came, I was called into the room.

There were, I think, five people there - I was too excited to do a head-count (I don't know who was who, but I imagine the writer, director, producer, and casting people comprised the five).

I did my thing, and got a very good response.

Then as I started to go, I said, "I had an alternate take..." (As in "...if you want to hear it"), and they said "Sure".

So I gave them a read that "went in a different direction", and it seemed to go over well enough (Though I kind of wished I'd "left well enough alone" - I didn't execute the "alternate take" as well as I'd wanted to).

Then I said, on my way out, "I'm a big fan of the show, so it was just fun being here...".

(And here's where it becomes "interesting" to be me...)

My first response to the experience was to be happy - I went in with a strong choice, did my thing, and it got laughs. And that's pretty much exactly how you want something like this to go.

But that happiness only lasted a few minutes before I started being assailed by doubt; I shouldn't have asked to do the other reading, I shouldn't have said the thing about being a "fan" - I even started doubting their reaction to my first reading ("Were they just being polite...?").

I really had to "rein it in", and remind myself that I've made enough people laugh over the years to know the difference between polite laughter and the genuine article.

And my "alternate take" showed them I'd given a lot of thought to the audition and to my character (And if my first choice really was the better read, that's okay - it shows I knew what the stronger "choice" was).

And in terms of being a "fan" (I worried afterwards that it made me sound like a "civilian")- those people work hard on "Earl", so why wouldn't they be pleased to hear that actors coming in enjoy the show and are happy to be there?

Long story short, screw the doubts - I done good.

In fact, I "done good" enough that, even if I don't get the gig (And the more time passes today, the less likely it seems), I still "won" - I won't be at all surprised if they call me back in for something before the season's over.

And while I'm going into "self-defense mode", assuming at this point that I didn't book it - so I can quickly "get over it" and move on - I'm being a mite premature with the post-mortem; at this point, it's still possible I could get "the call".

And if I do, you'll be the first to know.

Watching The Emmys

2008-09-21T19:32:00.000-07:00

(Watching Jimmy Kimmel's pre-Emmy show, and much to my surprise, finding it somewhat entertaining. Go figure - I thought I didn't like him.)

I'll be honest - I've got nothing here. I've already told you about my My Name Is Earl audition tomorrow, and that's pretty much the big acting news.

I'm in great shape for tomorrow - I've got my sides (And have a half-dozen different takes on my two lines), I know what I'm wearing, I have the directions...and I'm up for having some serious fun.

Actually, there is something I haven't mentioned, and it's kind of cool - This is not a "pre-read" I'm going in for; it's a "producer session".

They didn't put out a "breakdown" for it. They just called Brett - my manager - and said they'd like me to come in.

So the decision makers, the big boys, will be there tomorrow (Unless they're not - they may just put me on tape and show it to "the big boys"). And if they like me tomorrow, if they really like me, that's the end of the foreplay - I book the gig.

(I think this is the same casting person that called me in for Gilmore Girls a couple years ago - I'll know for sure if/when I see her tomorrow - but if it is her, it's further testament to the power of casting workshops.)

(Time passes...)

Other than the dismal performance of the "reality hosts" at the beginning (And periodically throughout the show) - and maybe the "Laugh-In" reunion (Which made me a little sad) - I'm basically enjoying The Emmys. Maybe more because I haven't gotten to watch an award show "in real time" in years than anything else; I've always been working.

I don't have any particular favorites (Though I'd dig it if Mad Men won for "Best Drama"), so I'm just watching for the intermittent bits of entertainment.

If I didn't have an early day tomorrow (I'm in my last day of training for working at Weight Watchers, something I'm just doing till I get my series), then my "Earl" audition at 2:00, I'd be at Molly and Jen's house right now, watching the show with The Gang.

Which would have been great fun. But I thought it was pretty important that I give myself at least a fair shot at being awake and energetic and rested tomorrow...considering the circumstances.

So in the spirit of that lofty goal, I take my leave of you (Whoever "you" may be).

Wish me luck with "Earl" tomorrow - Cause it won't be the end of the world if I don't book this gig...but it would sure be cool if I did.

(Hey, Bryan Cranston won for Breaking Bad. That's really cool...!)

Just Goes To SHOW Ya...

2008-09-19T20:35:00.000-07:00

Remember how I said I was "ambivalent" about not booking the Microsoft commercial with Jerry Seinfeld and Bill Gates (The one where Bill's trying on shoes at "Shoe Circus"), because even though I thought it was a terrible commercial, they were going to run the hell out of it, and I would have made a lot of money?

Microsoft's pulling the ad.

Scrapping the whole campaign, actually (Three different Gates/Seinfeld ads have aired to date; I don't know if more were planned or not).

Apparently, no one involved ever asked themselves what I asked myself when I went in for the spot (and before I knew the spot was to star Gates and Seinfeld): "How exactly does this sell computers...?".
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Had a workshop last night, with Arlie Rachwal and Farrah West - casting associates from the offices that cast Lost and Brothers and Sisters (Amongst other things).

What happened when I did the scene I was given once again proved that, as an actor, you can't really gauge the effect you're having on an audience (This actor can't, anyway). And, more to the point, how you feel about your work doesn't mean much.

I was paired with an actress I don't like personally - but who's a decent-enough actor - for a dramatic scene from Brothers and Sisters (I was Danny Glover to my scene partner's Sally Fields).

We worked on the scene outside, and were one of the last people up when the time came to perform.

Now typically, I'm pretty close to having a scene memorized in the 10-15 minutes we're given to work on it.

But not this time.

When we did the scene in front of the casting people, and our fellow actors, I went through the whole thing by the seat of my pants, feeling like I was "chasing the lines"...and at any second, they were going to completely get away from me; I definitely paraphrased a couple, and created some pauses you could drive a semi through while I groped for the next thing I was going to say.

I felt like all anyone could possibly be seeing onstage was an actor groping for his lines.

(Yes, I had the script in my hand But I was rattled, and afraid that if I started looking at the script, I'd be looking at it on every line, security-blanket style. And I've seen enough bad scenes at these things to know that the worst scenes happen when an actor can't relate to their scene partner at all because they're totally stuck in their script.)

Anyway, when we were done, it was all I could do not to blurt out an apology, to the casting people, and to my fellow actors - "God, I'm sorry, Guys - I was having a really hard time with the lines...!" - and I fully expected we'd get a re-direct, since, like I said before, I couldn't imagine the scene had come across the way it was supposed to.

But the casting people were quite happy with the scene (One of them gave us a very enthusiastic "Nice Job!"). We got a good hand from our fellow actors, I got a "thumbs up" from the "regulars" who were there...and there was no re-direct.

I'm sure I didn't do a very good job hiding my surprise; clearly, people had had more fun watching the scene than I'd had performing it (And I could go into why I think that was, but I've got a lot of ground to cover, so I'll save it for another time).

(At evening's end, I could tell my partner was still not thrilled with me...but in terms of "People I Wanted To Impress" that night, she was way down the list, so who cares?)
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Got a call from my manager today, with an audition for me on Monday.

For My Name Is Earl, the show I recently described as a "Universe I fit into".

I'm going in for the part of "Boss", who fires a guy on Earl's list - Just two lines, but a fun little scene.

I really want this - for all the usual reasons, plus it's a show I actually watch, which is a fantasy of mine (To be cast on a show I currently watch).

And it would be great to have a half-hour comedy credit on my resume - Getting your second half-hour credit is probably a lot easier than getting your first.

And I want to win one.

It's time.

Anyway, that's going to be 2:00 on Monday, so cross your collective fingers.
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Well, the SAG election results were announced, and it looks like the "Unite for Strength" people won the majority.

I wasn't 100% sold on "Membership First", but felt like they were, for the most part, more in line with my own feelings on the issues in question.

So I can't exactly say my first response is to be happy with the results. But that said, I want things to work out - I want to work, I want to make money, and I want a viable career.

So I'm going to make a choice to "hope for the best"...until and unless circumstances dictate otherwise.

(Well, now I am tempted to go back and theorize on why/how my workshop scene went better than I'd realized. But I've gone on long enough, and it'll keep.)

A Full Vessel

2008-09-18T00:18:00.000-07:00

Still thinking about Marvin the Cameraman's comments on Monday...

It makes me wish I'd get more auditions right away, so I could immediately start working on being more "playful".

Actually, the lack of auditions may be part of the problem - While I clearly haven't noticed it happening, I can see how, when the auditions are coming few and far between and the savings are draining away, like what's happening right now, the "fun" could slowly but surely get squeezed out of the process, with each audition becoming terribly important.

That's really not how you want to be going into an audition. That's not the weight you want to be carrying into the room, and you sure as shit don't want them to see you carrying that weight into the room.

So if that's what I'm doing, I'm not going to do that anymore.
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I'm very curious how the SAG vote is going to turn out (I think we're supposed to find out tomorrow).

The deed is done, at this point, so the only thing to do now is hope that, as a group, we made the right decision.

I guess time will tell.

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As I mentioned in my last entry, I've been thinking about the importance of being "a full vessel" as an actor.

To be a full fledged person, and not just an acting machine.

It's something I worry about, on a personal level - that if I'm a dull person, who has no interests or life beyond acting, I'm going to become a dull actor, who can't bring characters to life because I don't have a life to draw from.

I actually thought I was going to write about this in one blog entry, and move on.

But as I think about it, this is way beyond the scope of one blog entry; it's one of the central issues of my life at this point - the need to have a life beyond acting, and to have that life inform my acting, thus making me a better actor.

It's tougher than it sounds. Well, it's tough for me anyway. Tough to figure out what even constitutes "having a life" in my circumstances - what does that mean to me? - and tough not to obsess over my acting career, to the exclusion of...well, to the exclusion of everything else.

Acting is very important to me. Always has been. Always will be.

But the irony is that if that's all that's important to me, if that's all I think I'm "about" as a person, I probably won't succeed as an actor.

And again, this all just makes me want to start getting more auditions, so I can work this stuff through under "real world conditions".

But for now, I'm going to "work this stuff through" in my dreams...

Playing Around

2008-09-16T11:13:00.000-07:00

Went in for that "Rock The Vote" PSA yesterday.

It was in Santa Monica, at a casting office I've gone to quite a bit over the years (A fact that'll give some "context" to something I'll be writing about in just a minute).

I was going in for the role of "Airport Security Guy"; Basically, I'm trying to get an elderly couple to follow the security check-in procedures, which they're having a hard time understanding because...well, because they're old, basically (The commercial ends with a voiceover - or maybe just a title card, I'm not sure - that says "Old people vote two-to-one over young people. We're just sayin'.").

("Rock The Vote": Promoting Understanding Across Generations.)

Marvin, the camera guy, slated the three of us, set us up, and had us rehearse a few times (Ironically, considering the nature of the spot, the relative "whippersnapper" of the bunch was the first to screw up; I'd misunderstood a bit of direction Marvin had given one of my scene partners, and it threw me off the first time we went through it).

But eventually we started shooting it. We did a couple takes - a take for the couple (Over my shoulder), a take for me (Over their shoulders), and a take or two just to get a good take - and we were done.

(I've said it before - Beyond the fact that it's in friggin' Santa Monica, I like this particular casting office; I've booked a couple commercials from auditions I've had there. And I particularly like "Marvin the Cameraman", because he's genuinely invested in getting your best effort on camera.)

When we were done, Marvin summoned me over.

He'd had to tell me something bad I was doing on camera at one point ("Splitting my focus". Which made me annoyed with myself; after all, how long have I been doing this shit now?), so I thought he was going to give me some other helpful feedback about a particular thing he'd seen on camera - "That thing you do? Don't do that" - something along those lines.

But turned out he had much broader feedback to offer; after issuing a disclaimer ("I could be wrong, I often am..."), he said it seemed like I wasn't "playing" as much as I used to - I was basically "hitting the notes", but not having as much "fun" (Which left me worried about the spot we'd just committed to video, but he said we'd "gotten it" on that last take).

It's not something I've been aware of ("Hey, I'm not 'playing' at auditions like I used to, and as a result, I'm having less fun"), and it's certainly not been a conscious decision on my part ("You know what? I think I'm going to approach commercial auditions with an air of deadly seriousness, and see how that works for me...").

But then again, you can't see yourself, which makes it next-to-impossible to judge what's "coming across" on camera, subconsciously or otherwise, unless someone tells you (And one of the "challenges" here is that no one tells you. Which makes the fact that Marvin bothered to tell me pretty amazing).

I've said it before, I find commercial auditions kind of tough, for a myriad of reasons (Like yesterday - there's no reason we couldn't have gotten the sides in advance. It would certainly have helped me be more comfortable with the lines, which would have helped me have more "fun" on camera).

But that doesn't matter - Whatever the challenge involved in doing my best at these things, I have to do my best at these things.

And my "best" involves bringing my best, loosey-goosey self to the party. Almost everyone out here can "hit the notes"; it's what you do after that that makes all the difference.

Amateurs have fun when the circumstances are "fun"; Pros make something fun happen whatever the circumstances.

And I'll let you guess which group I want to belong to.
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Not wanting to move my car from its primo parking space in front of my building, and feeling too lazy to schlep the stuff out to Burbank on my bike, yesterday I UPS-ed my headshots and demo reels to my manager, for that big event he's attending this weekend.

(I just got off the phone with him, to give him a head's-up on the package, and he told me the event in question was shaping up to be about 70% agents to 30% casting people; I've got an agent, but in the unlikely event an agent there was particularly excited about me, I'd certainly be willing to "have a conversation" with them. But anyway...)

I'm not expecting anything to come of it, which is probably a good way to look at it - That way, I can be delightfully surprised when it provides the next big leg-up on my "journey to the stars".
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Well, it's old news now, but I sent out my SAG ballot.

I read all the emails that came from both sides, and went back and forth on how to vote as a result. I was really torn.

But ultimately, I went with Membership First.

On the one hand, I was kind of afraid not to vote for them, because I feel that if they don't get voted back in, it would be a vote of "no-confidence" on what they're negotiating for with the AMPTP, and the producers would run with that.

And on the other hand, the "Qualified Voting" thing, even if it's not part of Unite for Strength's official "platform", sends a message that their side is not my side (The majority of Unite for Strength's candidates previously tried to push through a "Qualified Voting" amendment).

I hope I didn't fuck up.
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Well, I was going to write about something else (The importance of "being a full vessel" as an actor), but that's really an entry in itself, so I think I'm going to end here, check the movie listings, and see if there's something out there worth seeing...

Dealing With An A.N.T. Problem

2008-09-15T02:22:00.000-07:00

Got a lot on my mind, and no time to get to most of it, but here goes nothing...

The topic at my weekly Weight Watchers meeting yesterday (Lost a pound this past week, BTW) was about combating our A.N.T.s (Automatic Negative Thoughts).

Of course, the leader was talking specifically about negative thoughts relating to food and weight loss and what-have-you, but after the meeting, my thoughts turned to my acting-career A.N.T.s (Worrying about my looks, my age, the current lack of auditions, etc. and so forth; basically, me looking for reasons why I'm not going to make it).

My life would sure be easier if I wasn't constantly assailed by doubts, but unfortunately, I don't think those doubts are going anywhere.

So the best I can do is use the same intellect that dredges them up to argue against them.

Fortunately, it's one thing I've gotten better at with age, because in this environment, it's easy to be overwhelmed by the odds against you. And it's easy to "go negative", as a way to steel yourself against the pain of rejection and (possible) failure.

It's particularly easy for me to "go negative". I've got some serious "skills" in that department.

But I want to quit spending so much time and effort "going negative", steeling myself against "the pain of rejection and (possible) failure", and start spending more time and effort "preparing myself for the rewards of financial and creative success".

And who knows? Maybe thinking my "A.N.T.s" aren't going anywhere is the biggest A.N.T. of all.

Maybe in time, I'm going to get so good at arguing against my doubts and negative thoughts that my mind will start thinking "Why even bother being negative? Old 'Master Debater' here will just argue us out of it anyway...".

It could happen.

One Good "Yes"

2008-09-13T22:59:00.000-07:00

I'm going in for a "Rock The Vote" PSA on Monday.

I really enjoy getting called on a Friday for a Monday audition; it's nice to have something to look forward to on Monday all weekend long, and to feel like the week ahead will be getting off to a good start.

I'm going in for "Airport Security Guy", and it's a funny spot.

That's pretty much all I know from the breakdown, except for this intriguing bit: "THESE SCRIPTS POKE FUN AT ELDERLY PEOPLE'S BEHAVIOR. ANYONE WHO WOULD BE OFFENDED BY THAT SHOULD PROBABLY NOT AUDITION."

(I'm pretty sure the only way I'd be offended was if they were bringing me in to play the elderly person whose behavior is being poked fun at. Otherwise, I'm totally ready to...Rock The Vote!)

It's not going to be a big cash bonanza, should I book it - No residuals. Just the "shoot fee" for the day - but I want it anyway. Cause for one thing, it's still money, and money is a good thing.

And for another - and this is the eternal optimist talking now - they'll air the heck out of it, and if it's actually funny, and my "Airport Security Guy" is part of the actual funniness, that could be good for my fledgling career.

But mostly, I just want to win one. It's been way too long...

Anyway, that's on Monday.
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In my continuing effort to catch new tv shows, I watched two episodes of the SWAT procedural Flashpoint on CBS.com earlier today (Flashpoint has actually been on the air for a couple weeks now; it bumped Swingtown, a summer show I liked quite a bit, from its original Thursday @ 10:00 timeslot).

I kind of wish I'd Googled the show first, cause then I wouldn't have needed to watch it - It shoots in Canada.

(If a show doesn't shoot here in LA, it's very unlikely I'll get cast in it - Guest Star roles might be cast out of LA, but I'm not at that level yet. And smaller Co-Star roles get cast wherever the show shoots - Because why would you pay to fly me to Toronto, for example, if I just have one line?)

So, as an actor, the show's a bust for me (Which is too bad, because it seems like there's all kinds of room for me in a good procedural).

As someone who just likes watching tv, the episodes I watched were pretty solidly mediocre. There was nothing that made me feel like I needed to add Flashpoint to the rotation.
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Picked up the 25 copies of my demo reel earlier this afternoon.

I'm still uncomfortable about the expense, but how's that old saying go? - "You have to spend money to make money"?

And all I need to make it a worthwhile expense is for just one person to look at it and say "Yes". That's all I need.

Just one good "Yes".

Workshoppin'

2008-09-11T22:53:00.000-07:00

Had my first workshop of the month earlier tonite (With Geralyn Flood, from Zane-Pillsbury, the office that casts The Sarah Connor Chronicles, amongst other things).

It went well - I was partnered with Molly again, in a comedy scene as a divorced couple, and we rocked it.

I've said it before - It's ten tons of fun when you get to go up with someone, you don't have to worry about them (Whether they're funny, whether they can keep up or not), and you know they don't need to worry about you, and you can just play. When you don't have to worry whether it's going to go well because you know it's going to go well.

I haven't experienced it on a professional level yet, what I've just described...but I'm looking forward to it; as I used to say when I was doing community theater back in Lansing, "The only thing better than acting would be acting...then having someone hand you a check afterwards."

I'm still looking for those two things to come together - the fun of actually getting to act, and the fun of getting a paycheck afterwards.

But it's gonna be sweet...

On The Lookout

2008-09-11T16:13:00.000-07:00

As a tv viewer, I'm not on the lookout for new shows - My viewing schedule, as is stands, is about as full as I want it to be.

But as an actor, I'm definitely on the lookout for new shows...new shows I can work on.

So far, I've seen Above The Bar, Sons Of Anarchy, Fringe, and Do Not Disturb (For good measure, I've seen Above The Bar and Sons of Anarchy twice; they debuted last week).

I could see maybe making a habit of S.O.A. and Fringe - They were pretty decent - but feel like I can now safely skip A.B.T. (Which was solidly "meh" both weeks) and D.N.T. (A laugh-free sit-com starring Jerry O'Connell).

But assuming they all shoot here in L.A. (Or at least California, in the case of S.O.A.), I could work on all four shows (Though with D.N.T., a show about the staff of a hotel, they managed to go through their entire first episode without anyone apparently staying at the hotel, so that one's a "maybe", since I'd cast me in a Guest Star role as an eccentric hotel guest).

When I say "I could work" on a given show, I don't just mean a one-line co-star part - that could come up on any show. I mean, watching the show in question, I could see myself working on it in a meaningful way, as guest star, recurring character, or even a series regular.

I "fit" in the My Name Is Earl universe, for example (Likewise on a show like The Closer - I could totally be in the "Priority Homicide" squad), while not so much on Gossip Girl or 90210 (Though 90210's ratings fell dramatically in its second week, so whether or not I "fit" on that show might be a moot point ).

Shows with big, age-diverse casts are good. Shows with large numbers of weekly guest stars are good (Procedurals, hospital shows, etc.)

In any case, hopefully I'll be fitting into someone's tv universe sometime soon.
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And with the fall season revving up, one would assume that will mean more commercial production.

I'm seeing the Microsoft commercial I went in for, with Jerry Seinfeld and Bill Gates, all over the place.

I'm also seeing the Maytag commercial I auditioned for quite a bit (The one where a voting booth isn't working, until the "Maytag Repairman" comes out with a handful of ballots that were stuck in the machine; I was up for "Beleaguered Polling-Booth Guy").

Now, I've said before, I always feel a little twinge when I see commercials I went in for and didn't get, as I think of the fun experience I didn't have, and all the money I'm not making.

But...The "flip side" is that I've won the prize before, so it's not a big intellectual leapto imagine, before too long, that some other actor will soon be watching a commercial I've booked, thinking, "I went infor that spot...".

(Gotta wrap this up pretty soon - I have to head out to a workshop in a few minutes...)

I still haven't filled out my SAG election ballot.

This is my dilemma, as I spelled it out in my journal:

I'm worried about elections for the Screen Actors Guild (An election that could have a more direct impact on my life than the national election) - on the one hand, there's the group in power, whose hearts seem to be in the right place, but who may be too combative and reactionary to get anything done (And who might wreck the union in the process, as the opposition says they've already done); on the other hand, there's the group who may be willing to screw over the "little guy" and play kissy-face with management just to keep "business as usual" running smoothly, and keep their big paychecks coming in (And basically wrecking the union in the process).
How do I vote, without being afraid I'm doing more harm than good? What's an actor to do?

But earlier, I realized that both factions have websites, and I've got some time yet (The ballot doesn't have to be in till the 18th), so I think I'm going to check out the websites, and if there's an email address, I'm going email both sides with my concerns, see if I get any answers, and if I do, if I like the answers I get.

Otherwise, I'm just going to close my eyes, and start filling in circles.

And on that note, I gotta go.

The Forbidden Love-Child Of Brad Garrett & Dennis Franz

2008-09-10T00:54:00.000-07:00

(Thanks to everyone who ad-clicked like crazy yesterday when dropping by - I'm already at over $38 this month...!)

In other happy monetary news, I got a nice little residual check in yesterday's mail, for the AT&T Yellow Pages commercial I shot earlier this year.

For maybe an hour or so afterwards, I was a happy little actor, thinking about how that check would just about cover groceries for the month, or put a serious dent in next month's rent.

Then I went to the bike shop, to get new tires (The old ones had both developed slow leaks, and were balder than I am), then to Lightning Media, to have 25 copies of my demo reel made.

Between the two expenditures - which were both way more than I thought they'd be - I had maybe enough money left from my "nice little residual check" to do a load or two of laundry.

(Riding my bike as much as I do, and hating flats, I opted for high-tech, flat-resistant, teflon-coated tires, innertubes, rim liners, etc. And it cost a pretty penny, but now I have bike tires that can take a direct hit from a small-caliber handgun...which is pretty important here in L.A.)

In all honestly, I'm a lot happier about spending money on bike tires than I am about spending money on copies of my demo reel - At least with the tires, I experience an immediate benefit, and don't feel like I'm throwing money down a hole.

To explain - My manager sent out an email to his clients a day or two ago: He's going to some kind of "Manager-palooza" thing next weekend, and wants to take along any "promotional materials" we have - Headshots and resumes, postcards, demo reels, etc. - so he can hawk us to agents, casting people, etc.

Now, I know I shouldn't be a glass-half-empty, "Negative Nelly"-type actor, but it's hard to imagine, at ManagerFest 2008, that agents and casting people will be beating the bushes for the middle-aged "forbidden love-child of Brad Garrett and Dennis Franz" (As someone once described me), instead of pretty, 90210/Gossip Girl actor-bots.

Harder still to imagine that Brett (My manager) is going to spend a lot of time peddling my wares, when he has "stars" like Kim H. (Who recently got a lead in her first independent film, that played at Tribeca), and Joe W. (Who was "recurring" on Gray's Anatomy last year).

(Though Brett actually should "peddle my wares" - Cause while it's unlikely I'll ever be a "star", there's every likelihood I'll still be working 20 years from now, long after Kim and Joe have had their day.)

But even though I don't feel terribly positive about this event, and the chances of anything meaningful happening, it's also possible lightning will strike.

Cause it's always possible that lightning will strike.

And if it does - If a big time casting person goes up to Brett's table, wondering if he just happens to represent any middle-aged actors who look like "the forbidden love-child of Brad Garrett and Dennis Franz" - I want Brett to be able to say "Have I got an actor for you...!", as he hands him (Or her) my headshot and demo reel.

(If you're new in town and/or new to the business: If you have a demo reel, or when you get enough footage together for a demo reel, don't waste your money getting a zillion copies made. It's not neccessary - Except maybe in situations like I've just written about. Instead, make sure you have your reel online, at someplace like Actors Access, so if someone asks about your reel, you can send them the link...and everyone's happy.)

The Waiting Part

2008-09-08T00:26:00.001-07:00

(Hey, let me start out by saying I hit almost $25 worth of ad clicks for this past week, so...thanks!)

Just got back a short time ago from dinner at Jen and Molly's place in North Hollywood (Jen was going with her boyfriend to the Magic Castle, and looked like a million bucks. Which, to be honest, made me feel a little horny and a little heartsick at the same time, since I've had a crush on her for the past couple years. But anyway...).

A number of people had stories to tell about auditions and callbacks, and even about getting some honest-to-goodness work.

I'm happy to say that my reaction to hearing about other people having auditions and booking jobs, while my career is an arid wasteland, has gotten a little more...sophisticated over the years.

For instance, I don't wish those people dead anymore.

This is progress.

And I don't call their talent into question (All of the people in question are talented enough that they should be in the position of going out and booking jobs).

I don't begrudge them their success. I just want to play too.

But to put a more positive spin on things, at least this suggests The Great Slowdown Of 2008 might be easing up. So while I'm not going out right now, there's renewed hope that I will this week, or next, or soon.

But I do feel like I have to acknowledge a certain reality - I'm running into something that was one of the main reasons I avoided "walking this path" for 20-odd years; I'm as talented as any, and more talented than most, but I'm an odd-looking duck.

A really odd-looking duck.

And that being the case, I'm going to have a harder time getting cast in a lot of things, while watching a lot of people no more talented than I am going out a lot more, and getting further, faster, than I'm going to.

I knew that going in.

Add that reality to my relatively advanced age, and you have a couple of pretty formidable challenges to success.

But that said, I'm not the first ugly guy to ever come out to Hollywood, and I'm not the first guy to start a career in middle-age - Other talented folks have done it as well. They've faced the same challenges I have, and they've succeeded.

And so will I.
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All That Jazz is one of my favorite movies.

Early in the movie, we see "Joe Gideon" - the Bob Fosse character played by Roy Scheider - high in the air, on a tightrope.

Then we hear him, in voiceover, quoting tightrope walker Karl Wallenda (Who had died maybe a year before the film began production) - "To be on the wire is life. The rest is waiting."

Then we see him, in slow motion, falling off the wire - symbolizing, with sledgehammer subtlety, that the movie we're about to see will be the tightrope act of Gideon/Fosse's drinking, drugging, cheating, workaholic life coming to an end.

"To be on the wire is life. The rest is waiting."

When I first heard that line in the theater, back in 1979, I knew exactly what he meant.

I feel that way about acting. Always have.

Still do.

It used to seem romantic.

Now it seems like a problem

"Hamlet 2" Met My Low Expectations

2008-09-06T10:48:00.000-07:00

I went to the movies yesterday, because I was "bored".

I don't typically go to the movies just for "something to do"; I think that kind of thing leads to seeing bad movies, and when you see a bad movie, you're basically telling bad movie-makers, "Please make more of these".

And as an actor - not to mention a person who likes movies - I don't want that.

But like I said, I was really bored yesterday and didn't know what to do with myself.

And since there's not much out worth seeing right now (That I haven't already seen), I walked down to the Los Feliz 3 and saw Hamlet 2, a movie I suspected was not really worth my time.

My verdict?

While it wasn't so bad that I felt guilty patronizing it - because "now the filmmakers are going to make more like this..." - It wasn't all that good either; I'd say my low expectations were pretty much met.

In short, you really don't need to rush out to see it on my account; it was funny in spots...but only in spots (My biggest problem was Steve Coogan - You're supposed to root for his character, but I mostly just found him annoying. And that's not good when you're talking about the lead).

If you want to see a movie about an untalented person (Or persons) putting a show together, I'd stick with Waiting For Guffman, still "the gold standard" for this sort of thing.

But if you just need to get out of the house, and you're looking for laughs, go see Tropic Thunder instead (And if you're already seen it, see it again - It's definitely a better value for your movie-comedy dollar, even on the second go-round; I would have watched it again last night, since it's at the Vista, just a stone's throw from the Los Feliz, but I'm seeing it next week with a friend).
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I'm still reading The Eight Characters Of Comedy, and realizing, as I read about "The Materialistic One", that it's the one type of comedic role I actually couldn't do; I don't look wealthy, I've never been wealthy, and most importantly, I "just don't get it" - I've never felt my primary motivation in life was to acquire more "stuff", and I don't really understand those who do feel that way, so it would be tough for me to "find my way into" a character like that.

At the end of each chapter on the "eight characters", the author lists examples of each type throughout sitcom history.

And I noticed that, while there are specific examples of each type I've enjoyed watching over the years, the ones I'm least like personally and least likely to be asked to play are also, in general, the character types I'm least likely to think of as "favorite characters" (My favorite characters are much more likely to be "loveable losers" and "neurotics" than "bitch/bastards" or "materialistic ones").

And that makes sense - I think you "bond" to a character on tv (Comedy or drama) because you relate to them in some way; you're like them, you're afraid you're like them, or you wish to be like them.

Anyway...

Seems like there was something else I was going to write about, but I sure can't think of what it was...

But I guess it'll keep, whatever it was.

Fitting In

2008-09-05T06:10:00.000-07:00

I just saw this youtube.com/watch?v=afR5J7eskno online...

I went in for it not too long ago; it was a very secretive affair, identified only as "Project X", so I didn't know it would be the first commercial of Jerry Seinfeld's new campaign for Microsoft, and that my "co-stars" would be Jerry Seinfeld & Bill Gates.

I'm almost glad I didn't get it.

I say "almost" only because money's money, after all (And the spot is going to run a lot).

But in my opinion, the spot isn't funny, or particularly effective as advertising (If this is Microsoft competing with the "Mac vs. PC" ads, it's an "epic fail", as the kids say); I'm a fairly bright guy, and I just don't understand how Jerry Seinfeld and Bill Gates in a shoe store is selling us on the virtue of Microsoft.

And I don't think it does Seinfeld any favors, beyond making him another $10 million he doesn't need anyway; it's just going to add to the growing perception that Larry David was clearly a bigger reason for the success of Seinfeld than most of us realized at the time.

What's interesting is that when I went in for the spot, what I thought what was funny - to the degree the copy was funny - was the plight of the poor, beleaguered shoe salesmen (Who are just bit players in the completed product). Cause that's really the way the copy reads.

(And you could do the very same spot, shift the focus, drop Gates and Seinfeld - who, shockingly enough, aren't very good actors - and have a very effective PSA for staying in school: "Get an education, or you could end up like this".)

It reminds me that, yes, I want to make money, but it's also really important to do things that are good, things that are funny (If they're supposed to be funny). Things that work, that do what they set out to do.

Cause even if it's just a commercial, I want it to be a good commercial (If I'm selling soap, I kind of want you to want to run out and buy soap afterwards).
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But speaking of "funny"...

I'm currently about two-thirds of the way through The Eight Characters Of Comedy; A Guide To Sitcom Acting And Writing, by Scott Sedita.

Sedita devotes some time to "Sitcom History", "Half-Hour Technique", etc., but naturally, the bulk of the book is about his "Eight Characters", eight comedic archetypes that pretty much cover all the sitcom characters you can think of - breaking down their character traits, their underlying motivations, listing famous examples throughout sitcom history, etc.

I think the book is definitely worthwhile, particularly if you're coming in from "ground zero" comedically (The early part of the book, on "Half-Hour Technique", is worth the price of admission all by itself).

For me, a lot of what I'm reading is either stuff I've heard before (During a 4 week "comedy intensive" with casting associate Nick Anderson, who was working on My Name Is Earl at the time, and is now on Desperate Housewives), or stuff that feels kind of self-evident.

But the book has still served a good function, which is to make me think about how I "fit" into tv comedy, where I belong in the comedic scheme-of-things.

Actors tend to think they can play anything, and this actor is no exception - I think there are circumstances where I could play any of the "Eight Characters" in question - but being realistic about who I am and what I look like (What I naturally "bring to the table"), I'm most likely to be cast as "The Loveable Loser", "The Neurotic", or "In Their Own Universe", and least likely to be "The Bitch/Bastard", "The Womanizer/Manizer", or "The Materialistic One" ("The Smart, Logical One" and "The Dumb One" are judgement calls - Again, I think I could play either and it wouldn't be bad casting...but in most situations, you could probably do better).

It's something that isn't necessarily a comfortable process - trying to see yourself how others see you, for one thing, and admitting who you essentially are as a person for another - but it's pretty important to know what you have to work with as an actor.

(It just struck me - When you do that, if you do that, you can turn personal failings into professional strengths.)
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For the past couple years, I've tried to make a point, during each new tv season, of seeing as many new shows as possible (Like reading The Eight Characters Of Comedy, I watch the shows thinking about where I "fit into the equation"...or where I don't).

To that end, I recently DVR'd Raising The Bar and Sons of Anarchy.

As an audience member, I was not knocked out by either show.

But I give the edge to Sons Of Anarchy, because Ron Perlman is a more compelling actor than anyone on Raising The Bar (And I don't like Mark-Paul Gosselar as much as Stephen Bochco obviously does).

And Sons Of Anarchy, about a criminal motorcycle gang that runs a small California town, is a somewhat more original premise than yet another legal drama.

As to where I "fit", I could imagine being cast on either show, but again, cause Sons of Anarchy is something a little different, I think that would be more fun (Though there's something to be said for getting in good with Stephen Bochco. Cause if he likes you as an actor, he hires you over and over again; he really seems to enjoy having a "rep group" of actors).

And on that note, I'm going back to bed, so I can dream of the day I'm acting on tv shows and not just watching them...

Finding The Perfect Theater (Opportunity)

2008-09-03T15:23:00.000-07:00

Paying this month's rent - which goes up every year at this time - has once again got me thinking, "Man! It sure would be nice to book a gig...!".

But anyway...

Well, I've broken down and signed up for a couple workshops this month - one next Thursday and one the following Thursday - but I think that's okay (They're casting workshops, after all; It's not like I'm reneging on my vow to stop doing crack...though I'd say there is a certain "addictive element" involved in both enterprises).

Right now, workshops are the only thing I've got telling me I'm "making an effort" in my career. Which is both the reason I want to keep doing them...and why I feel like they're something of a problem (On top of the previously-mentioned, "I'm getting tired of paying people to let me act, and no one paying me" frustration. Though that "frustration" is mixed with the satisfaction of showing casting people what I can do, and the fun of strutting my stuff in front of my peers).

In terms of doing theater, which I keep braying about to anyone who'll listen, I've bought a couple copies of Backstage West recently, have checked in periodically at Actors Access (Actors Access is part of Breakdown Services), and have bookmarked a website called Auditions.com, but feel like my efforts have been scattershot and half-hearted at best.

So what's the problem?

Part of the problem is that I tried to do theater when I first came out here, years ago, and didn't have a single good experience; I quit one production during rehearsal, was fired from another during rehearsal (Actually, before rehearsal even started), passed on another gig (Because it was basically a bit part for a show way out in Downey, and what would have been the point?), and in the only play I've actually done out here, a bad one-act called Crossing The Line, I was cast - I still don't understand why - in a role that was clearly written for an elderly black man (The role was double-cast, with me alternating performances with...an actual elderly black man).

That string of shitty experiences spooked me. I assumed there had to be good theater to do somewhere in L.A., but I sure didn't seem to know how to find it.

And now, while I want to do theater, I still don't want to do bad theater. I want to be proud of what I'm doing - otherwise why am I doing it? - and I want something that shows me off to best advantage (Meaning, amongst other things, that I'm not up for being a chorus boy). Cause there's no point in doing things that aren't going to be satisfying, and more to the point, things won't make a casting person say "Wow--Who is this guy?...".

And I don't want to do theater that's too far away (Because one of the reasons to do theater here is hoping someone will see you, and casting directors don't want to schlep out to Long Beach to see you do a dinner theater production of Ten Little Indians).

But where is this magical place, that's doing shows I like, with roles I'd be great in, that's near enough that I don't have to drive (That's another thing - I'd rather not have to drive), and that I could maybe bribe a casting person or two into attending?

I don't know. And I hardly know where to start.

But the thought that it's what I should be doing continues to nag at me.
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Watched the final season opener of The Shield last night.

And while I just said I wasn't going to go on about why I want to act in here, I will say this - All day yesterday, I was excited about the show that evening.

And it reminded me when I was younger, at the movies - I would be happy to be at the movies, excited, looking forward to the show, and I know at some point it hit me, "Wouldn't it be cool if people were as excited to see something I was a part of as I am right now...?".

It's not my only motivation for being an actor...but it's definitely a big piece of it.

A Pretty Funny Script

2008-09-02T18:08:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, my car battery was stolen.

Since I just bought a new battery about six weeks ago, I was not especially happy to have to shell out more money for a new new battery.

(I now have a running tally of "things I've had stolen since living in LA" - from bike lights, and bikes themselves, to my car's hubcaps and registration tags - which is a definite downside to "life in the big city".)

"So what's that have to do with acting", you ask?

Well, I wasn't happy about what happened yesterday - It wasn't "fair", it was money I didn't want to be spending (Especially when there isn't much money coming in), and it was going to be a pain in the ass to deal with - but I dealt with it.

And one of the ways I "dealt with it", emotionally, was by writing a funny-snarky entry about it on my other blog.

Afterwards, I thought about how I'd brought my sense of humor to bear on the situation, and wondered why I have a much harder time doing that with my acting career.

Cause, after all, I'm a funny guy.

I imagine a sense of humor helps in most walks of life, but it's particularly important in acting - not just in bringing humor to the characters you play, but in dealing with what can be a tremendously difficult and stressful occupation without losing your mind (Or in my case, "losing what little mind I have left").

I'm not yet personally familiar with the difficulty and stress of succeeding as an actor, but I imagine it has its challenges (Maybe the #1 challenge being dealing with the fear that the success could go away at any time).

But I'm intimately familiar with the difficulty and stress of being a "struggling actor". And if you can't laugh at the business, and at yourself, from time to time, it will eat you up.

And I don't want to be eaten up.

I'm pretty good at making the most of a funny script, so now I just need to realize that the pursuit of an acting career, and sometimes life itself, is "a pretty funny script".

Why Ask "Why"?

2008-09-01T19:48:00.000-07:00

Since starting this blog, I’ve given lots of thought, when I’m not writing, to what I’m going to write next; since the goal is to update daily, I’m constantly thinking about potential topics.

And for awhile now, I’ve thought it would be interesting to write about “Why I Want To Act” or “Why I Am An Actor”. Explaining to you, and maybe clarifying for myself in the process, the motivation behind my desire to act.

But on Saturday, I saw the documentary Man On Wire - about tightrope walker Philippe Petit, and how in August of 1974, he and a group of confederates, under cover of darkness, strung a wire between the twin towers of the World Trade Center so he could, come morning’s light, “dance” back and forth between the towers, hundreds of feet in the air - and something he says at the end of the film really struck me.

He’s asked by reporters afterwards “Why did you do it?”, and his response was to say, basically, “There is no ‘Why’”.

Now that sounds very enigmatic to me - very “French”, if you will - but I actually kinda/sorta “get it”.

I think he was basically saying “Who cares why I did it? What does it matter ‘why’? The point is, I did it”.

In that sort of situation (Why someone would choose to do something most people would consider crazy), “Why?” is a boring question. A pointless question.

The answer you get is going to either be bullshit, because the person giving you the answer doesn’t really know “why”, or else it’ll just sound facile and silly when reduced to some one-line, bite-sized “motivation” (“Because it was there”, “Because I could”, “Because I wanted to be famous”, etc.).

In the film, Petit in the present day still seems almost offended by the question, saying, “I give you something magical, something beautiful...and the only question you have for me is ‘Why’...?”.

“There is no ‘Why’.”

So what’s all this have to do with me?

I should be long past reflecting on “Why” I want to act, why I choose to act. I should be beyond that kind of navel-gazing when it comes to acting.
At this point, it doesn’t matter. And it’s not the most interesting, meaningful, or important question I should be asking myself at this stage.

Besides, I know. At this point, I know as much as I’ll ever need to know about “Why I Act”. It’s “beside the point” now, the “point” being “I’m an actor”

And I don’t think it’s the most interesting thing I have to say to you, Dear Readers. I’m not 100% sure what the “the most interesting thing I have to say to you” is at this point, but I’m pretty sure that ain’t it.

Besides, if you’ve been reading along, and you haven’t gotten a sense of “Why” I do this just yet, I’m pretty sure you will before we’re done.

Workshop Fatigue?

2008-08-31T15:32:00.000-07:00

(A Happy Note: A couple days ago, I passed the magical milestone of $100 worth of ad clicks. Which means the good folks at Google AdSense will be sending me a check next month. So thanks to all of your who've been reading and clicking - Keep up the good work!)

A short time from now, I'm going to Jen and Molly's, for Sunday dinner (Jen & Molly are both actors I met through ACG; Jen is probably the most successful ACG regular, and Molly, after being the "power behind the throne" for a couple years, now runs ACG).

It's a regular "thing" (Them inviting friends over on Sunday nights), but I've only been able to participate the past couple months, since quitting my job at ArcLight Cinemas (Though I didn't go last week, cause I was dragging physically, and didn't feel up to it).

But speaking of ACG...

The September schedule of casting workshops has been out for awhile now, but I haven't signed up for any.

It's partly because the schedule's full of people I've already seen, and don't feel I need to see again.

But it's also because I'm frustrated that I'm not getting auditions/booking gigs, and I'd really like my "career" to be about something more than going to workshops.

Soon I'm going to start working at Weight Watchers (I've been "hired", and the paperwork's done - I'm just waiting to hear back when I start training), and one thing I've been considering, when I get a sense of my new schedule, is how doing theater might fit into that schedule.

Now, starting to do theater again wouldn't preclude continuing to do workshops.

Except...

Most of the theaters here in LA seem to have "memberships" - You audition, you become a "member", there's a minimum monthly "work requirement" ...and there are monthly dues.

And unless my financial fortunes take a serious upturn - which is certainly possible (A good network national would certainly do the trick!) - I can't afford to add another monthly bill into the mix.

So something would have to go. And that "something" would probably be workshops.

But there are reasons I don't want to give up workshops, and reasons I'm ambivalent about trying to do theater again, so I will almost certainly be writing about this stuff again, soon.

But for now, it's off to North Hollywood, for a little Sunday night dining...

(In my next entry, I'm going to write about why I'm not going to tell you "Why I've Always Wanted To Be An Actor". Stay tuned...)

Acting Political

2008-08-28T13:05:00.000-07:00

Well, now it's pretty much certain - I didn' t book the Orbitz spot, either as "Masters Degree Guy" or "Tour Member".

Bummer. I could have used the infusion of cash.

But life goes on.

Speaking of "cash"....with $94.93 worth of ad clicks (As of moments ago), I'm a heartbeat away from a "Tales Of A Character Man" milestone - my first check (If/when you hit $100 in a given month, Google sends you a check early the following month).

This isn't just a "milestone" in terms of getting money, though that is nice - Other than acting, this is the first time I've actually tried to make money doing something I enjoy.

So thank you all for your support - and your clicks - and I hope you'll keep the love coming in the future.

By the way, I've had some people contact me with particular questions/concerns about the ads.

Unfortunately, my answer to any and all ad-related questions at this point is "I don't know". I actually can't click on the ads myself, lest I get kicked out of the Google AdSense program, so I haven't seen where the links link to, or anything like that; I'm basically just putting my faith in the fact that Google is a reputable concern, and wouldn't damage their own reputation, and ability to make money down the road, by taking ads from fly-by-night concerns.

All I really know is that when you come here and click on an ad, Google puts a couple pennies in my account. And that makes me happy.

But one way or the other, I will educate myself a little better on the AdSense program, so if you have questions/concerns, I can actually answer them (I think there's a program I can download to check if the links are working properly, so I may do that, just so I can click through ads, and see where I'm asking you to go).

And speaking of "educating myself", I finished Born Standing Up yesterday (It's a very quick read), and the next book up is The Eight Characters Of Comedy, a book on sitcom acting and writing by Scott Sedita.

I bought the book months ago at Samuel French, but have never gotten around to reading it (I don't know - Maybe I was waiting for sit-coms to make a comeback).

(After Tuesday's less-than-stellar commercial callback, maybe I need to dig out my books on commercial acting! But anyway...)

I looked at my SAG ballot earlier today, leaning towards the "Membership First" candidates, but not being very happy about it, when it occurred to me to just split my vote - amongst "Membership First", "Unite for Strength", and "Independent" candidates.

I'm not completely comfortable with "Membership First" - the faction running things right now - because I don't think they've handled the current AMPTP negotiations very well, and I think it was a mistake to wage a public campaign against AFTRA's deal with the AMPTP (It just wasn't very good p.r.).

But on the other hand, I think they're closest to where I'm at on the issues (The main "issue", for me, being residuals).

"Unite for Strength"'s main thing is a SAG/AFTRA merger, which they say will never happen under "Membership First" leadership.

And on the surface of things, a SAG/AFTRA merger couldn't make more sense - when actors are going up against the producers, who represent giant multinational corporations that have all the money and power in the world, they need to be united.

You'd think.

But AFTRA, far as I can see, has a history of concessions and appeasement of their corporate overlords, undercutting SAG with pretty much every contract they bargain. And how does SAG, in good faith, merge with that? What's the point of being "united", if the new union's "philosophy" will mean bending over and taking whatever unfair terms the producers offer?

The people who are now "Unite For Strength" have also tried, in the past, to push through a motion for "qualified voting", which basically means you have to work X amount of time, or on X number of jobs, under a specific contract - the commercials contract, for example - in order to vote on it.

I don't agree with that at all. The way I see it, if I'm in the union, and I'm paying dues, I get a vote. And just because I haven't worked in some aspect of the business yet , or I didn't in the past year, or whatever, that doesn't mean I won't in the future.

My main worry with "Unite for Strength" is that it's basically the party of the acting elite who don't need the union anyway (The performer's unions establish basic contracts, but if you're a big name, like Tom Hanks, say, you negotiate your own contract terms), so they'd be content to say yes to anything the producers offer, knowing it doesn't effect them anyway, just so they can keep working and getting their giant paydays.

(Hmmmm...I seem to have a stronger feeling about the "Unite for Strength" people than I realized...)

Crap - Maybe I'll just vote "Independent".

Steve Martin Titled His Autobiography "Born Standing Up". Mine Will Be More Like "Born Napping".

2008-08-27T12:43:00.000-07:00

Well...

While it doesn't mean I didn't book the gig, yesterday's Orbitz callback did not feel good.

At all.

And that means I probably didn't book the gig.

I'll tell you something - I've been out here 7 1/2 years now, the bulk of my auditioning experience has been with commercials (followed by television, then, in a distant third, by movies), and in my opinion, commercial auditioning is, by far, the most difficult.

It's much easier to do scenes, like I do at casting workshops (Either reading with the casting person, or having an acting partner). In fact, it's so much easier that I'm going to make a bold statement here - If that's what I was doing every time I went in for an audition (Instead of commercial auditions and one-line co-star things), I would have broken through years ago.

Which means it's often frustrating, to be paying to do the thing I'm best at, while trying to make money doing the things I'm worst at.

At some point, I'm going to write about why that's the case.

But right now, since I don't want to dig myself into a pit of despair - which would be particularly silly in this situation, since I could still get a call from my agent by day's end saying I booked the job - I'm going to focus on why things could still work out, in spite of how I felt about yesterday's callback.

I have actually worked with Martin Granger, the director, before - I did a commercial for the Bahamas with him back in 2006 (A spot that was one of AdWeek's "Top 50 Commercials Of The Year") - so that could work in my favor; he knows I'm funny, and knows he can get what he needs from me, even if I stunk up the joint at the callback (Unfortunately, he's not the only "decider"; he could like me just fine, and still get shot down by the Orbitz people).

And I'm warming to something I was initially discouraged by when I went in yesterday - In the waiting area, the casting person handed me back my original headshot, which was now stapled to a Casting Frontier printout (Commercial casting is pretty much entirely digital at this point).

And on the bottom of the printout, there was a handwritten note - "Tour Member?".

In the spot, in addition to the guy playing the boss and the guy playing the envelope-licker-with-a-Masters-degree (The part I was up for), there are "tour members".

So, much like the Comcast promos I did last year, where I went in for the "hero" part of a tour guide and ended up being one of the tour members, I could get the "consolation prize" of "tour member" in this spot as well.

It really would be a "consolation prize" - I want to be the guy "bringing the funny", not just some schmuck in the background - but in this case, the "consolation prize" is cash, so I'll take it.

Speaking of cash, I got a small residual check in today's mail (For my co-star role on Monk that first aired back in January).

It's such a small check that it makes no difference in the grand scheme of things, or even in the medium-sized scheme of things. But it's still nice to have at least a little something come in from acting.

The other acting news right now is that ballots have been sent out for the upcoming SAG elections.

A faction has arisen - "Unite for Strength" - to challenge the current, "Membership First" majority.

I'm going to be voting Membership First, but the whole thing gives me a stomach-ache, since I feel like a vote for either side could end up being a terrible, terrible mistake, and there doesn't seem anywhere to get an unbiased view of the issues involved.

But that's material for another entry (Cause it really is an entry in and of itself).

I've started reading the Steve Martin autobiography, Born Standing Up.

He has a somewhat formal writing style that took me a few pages to get used to, but be that as it may, I heartily recommend this book to aspiring performers - Long story short, Steve Martin didn't become "Steve Martin" by accident, and it's instructive to see just how much dedication and effort go into making any kind of performance "effortless" (And if any young comedians are reading this, you'll get a good idea just how seriously you should be taking your comedy).

Doubling Up

2008-08-26T09:15:00.000-07:00

Had a workshop last night with Marilyn Atlas - Not a casting person, like we usually get at ACG, but a manager and producer (She produced, amongst other things, Real Women Have Curves).

Like my last workshop, I wondered afterwards if this was a person I'd really needed to see - An older white woman, she's all about projects reflecting "diversity" (And I don't think giving more opportunities to "older white character actors" is what she means by "diversity") - but as she said herself during the Q&A, "you never know where things are going to lead".

Scene-wise, it was a fun night - there were an odd number of people, so I got to "double-up", and do two very different scenes.

My first time up, I was doing a scene with Pedro, an ACG semi-regular, from the movie Fort Apache The Bronx, a 1981 movie starring Paul Newman.

It was a really good scene - we were two cops, and in the scene, my partner is confronting me about basically executing a suspect (I shoot a guy I'm chasing after he's clearly given up) - but in the room, it didn't come off as well as I'd hoped (It was a mistake for us to sit down, cause it took a lot of energy away from what should have been a high-energy scene); sure enough, when we were done, she said that we didn't get to where we needed to be in the scene till towards the end, so she quizzed us on our characters, told me not to look at Pedro (And told Pedro to do everything he could to get me to look at him), and had us do the first part of the scene again.

I enjoyed the scene, because it was more dramatic than what I typically get to do at these things (And frankly, I think I can make a pretty kick-ass bad guy), but it was disappointing that it didn't really "click".

Afterwards, a couple of "regulars" implied Pedro was the problem (They said between his heavy accent and how quietly he was speaking, you couldn't understand him over the air conditioning), but I blame myself - I don't think it was Pedro, and I don't think it was a problem with our understanding of the scene or our characters; It was a mistake in staging, a mistake as simple as sitting down; a lot of the energy of the confrontation leaked out of the scene.

We should have done the scene standing up, the way we'd worked it when we were outside.

And as the more experienced actor, I should have imposed my will in this situation - Pedro was the one who thought we should sit down - because if I had, I don't think we would have gotten the re-direct.

My second scene was with Molly (Who owns ACG), and it's the first time we've ever done a scene together (As I've said before, I don't get to do scenes with the pretty girls too often. Which is a shame in this case, cause Molly's really good).

I don't remember what the scene was from, but basically we're on an elevator, and Molly's character thinks I'm hitting on her and reads me the riot act (How I'm too old and uncool for her, how I should stick to hitting on women who aren't out of my league, etc.), when I'm really just trying to tell her she has t.p. stuck to her shoe.

Then we find out that I'm "Greg Barney" (Of "Barney, Smith, and Barney", the firm where she works), and things really get interesting.

I'm happy to say, we rocked it, with the only note being that Molly should watch how "animated" her face gets (Because of the "40 foot high movie screen" and all that); it's not a note I've ever heard Molly get before, and it's not something I've ever noticed (And I've seen Molly do a lot of scenes at this point), so I don't think it's really a big "issue".

Anyway, it was a real pleasure getting to do a scene with her - It's always fun when you get to go up with someone you know can do the work (And that's always one of my goals - to be the actor other actors are excited about getting a scene with); you can just relax, and play, and I think that sense of "fun" is infectious.

When it was all over, I considered asking Ms Atlas if she was interested in representing me, but ultimately thought better of it - if/when I look for a new manager, I think I'm going to want someone focused on managing actors.

And in a situation like last night, I feel like if they're not inquiring (About your current representation status), they're clearly not interested in working with you anyway.

The big news today is that I have a callback for Orbitz in a few hours.

I think I have a good shot at it - between my hangdog looks and ability to deliver a deadpan line, I'm great casting for a guy working in the mail room, who informs a passing tour group, "I have a Masters degree" - and that's a good feeling to go into a callback with.

(It's interesting - while I wouldn't want to be this narrowly "typecast" theatrically, in terms of commercials, I'm totally up for having a niche as "Depressed Guy".)

I really want to put something in the "win column" - for all the reasons one normally wants to "put something in the win column", but to also have my first win to report since starting this blog.

Wish me luck...

Serious Fun

2008-08-25T07:13:00.000-07:00

There's no real "news" to report, but I do have a few things on my mind today...

To start out on a monetary note: At $73 worth of ad "clicks", I'm getting ever closer to my first check from the good folks at Google, so thank you all for reading and clicking.

I'm most of the way through The War Of Art - It's a brisk read, and definitely worth a look for anyone who's trying to get past the "resistance" in their lives.

The section about "Turning Pro" was especially inspiring, because that's been much on my mind (In terms of acting, and now with this blog); I told myself recently that, while it's okay to not want to work a regular job (Which I've sometimes felt guilty about), and to spend my time doing things I actually want to do, that means I then have to go "full out" on those "things I want to do", and not screw around.

If you want what you do "for fun" to be your life, then, ironically, you have to get pretty serious about your "fun", to make a commitment - "In order to avoid spending the rest of my life doing work I hate and being unhappy, I will invest myself whole-heartedly in doing what I love".

One point Pressfield makes in the book is that the commitment itself - to being a "professional" - changes things.

And I see the truth of that in my experience with this blog - wanting to make money from blogging, then "turning that thought into an action" has, for one thing, immediately meant writing more consistently. Because I know that if people come to this blog one too many times and there's nothing new here, they won't be coming back.

It's meant giving serious thought to what I have to say that might be of value to other people, trying to find the connection between my life and interests and yours as a reader (Which is why I address some of what I write to "aspiring actors").

It has me thinking constantly about what I want to write about in here, and it's even gotten me past my resistance to "marketing myself".

(Unlike acting, where you can spend all kinds of time and money on a mailing that gets no results, when I put a bulletin about this blog on my MySpace page and Diaryland journal, visits to the site immediately go up. And more visits means more readers, and more readers means more "clicks" on my ad, and more clicks on my ad means more money. And even though the money is pretty minimal right now, it's been surprisingly motivating).

Speaking of "professionals", the next book on my list, after The War Of Art, is Steve Martin's book Born Standing Up, just out in paperback.

Steve Martin was never my favorite stand-up comic, because I was always more interested in stand-up that at least seemed to come from a personal point-of-view, and his stand-up was clearly "performance art" that had nothing to do with Steve Martin, the person (If anything, his act seem designed to obscure "Steve Martin, the person").

But that said, I've always been interested in performance art, and in comedy, and I'm intrigued that this seemingly anarchic, absurd comedy act - Which was hugely successful "back in the day" - was in actuality, a very carefully crafted and well thought-out construction.

I don't want to rattle on for too much longer, but I'm still thinking about my last casting workshop...

I was actually trying to write about this last night - particularly about scenes that "worked" and scenes that didn't, and why - but I found myself getting bogged down in the intersection between cold-reading skills, personal presentation, and acting ability - all of which enter into the picture - so I've got to give it some more thought (But I do want to write about the general idea of what makes scenes "work" or not, because I think it's interesting and instructive).

For me, there's always a "competitive element" to workshops, because I want to be one of "the cool kids" who stand out in their scene - Because I'm a show-off , first of all.

But also because, on a professional level, I want to be one of the people that the casting person remembers once they leave the room at the end of the night. Because really, that's the only reason to do these things.

And that "competitive element" was really ramped-up for me on Saturday, because the casting person had a number of us reading the same scenes - For example, two other actors read the same scene from The Starter Wife that I had.

I was the first one up doing "the agent scene", and of the three, I was the only one not given a re-direct. And I don't mind telling you, I was very proud of myself.

(Most casting people who come in don't state it outright, but the casting person on Saturday actually said at one point, to the people who'd gotten re-directs, "Your second reading should have been your first one".)

While not all re-directs are created equal - Sometimes the casting person sees you have the right idea and wants to help you get where you're going, or sometimes they see that you've really got the goods, and just want to "take you for a test drive", and see how you handle direction - more often than not, in my experience at these things, a re-direct simply means that, for whatever reason, the scene didn't "work" for the casting person.

And you don't want that. Because in an actual audition situation, that first time through might be the only time you get.

One more thing about Saturday, and being a "professional", and then I'm done.

One of the girls who'd gotten a re-direct had been directed to "speak up" when she came back.

When it was time for her to do her scene again, she was a little louder, but still speaking in a lower-than-normal volume, and much like speaking too slowly or taking long pauses in a scene, it meant the scene didn't have very much energy.

When she was done, the casting person said the scene was better - and it had been - but that she still needed to speak up.

And the girl started going on about how she'd been loud as a child, and had always been told to "be quiet", and now it was hard for her to raise her voice, etc.

Afterwards Jen, one of the "regulars", and probably the most successful person who comes to workshops, was horrified - she said, and I believe I'm quoting here, "No one wants to hear that fucking bullshit".

And her point, acting hopefuls, while vividly expressed, is well-taken; a casting person is not your friend, your confidante, your priest, or your therapist. They don't want you to complain, or explain. They don't want your life story.

They just want you to be a great actor.

And if you start going on about why you can't do what they want you to do, guess what?

You don't get the job.

(Thus endeth the lesson...)

A Pregnant Pause

2008-08-24T09:27:00.000-07:00

Yesterday's workshop was with Abby Marateck, an associate from Schiff/Audino, the office that casts The Starter Wife (Which I haven't seen - shame on me!), and Mad Men (Which, in my opinion, is one of the best things on tv).

Ms M. was very pregnant (By "very", I mean her due date is in two weeks). So between the fact that she's going to be out on maternity leave for who-knows-how-long, and they're down to shooting the last couple episodes of The Starter Wife for the year (And Mad Men is already done), I'm not sure how worthwhile this workshop will have turned out to be.

But who knows? Hopefully, she'll go back to work, and the very first thing that crosses her desk will have a role perfect for Yours Truly.

We read with her - which she seemed to think was going to be weird for us, but it's something other casting people have done as well(As opposed to pairing actors up), to make it "more like a real casting session".

But she did do some other things differently; she moved things around so she and the actor reading the scene were perpendicular to the rest of us; so instead of watching the actor onstage from her perspective, we were watching her run a "casting session".

And when people were done, if she had a re-direct, she gave it to the person, moved on, then had all the people who'd gotten re-directs take another couple minutes with their scenes, then go again (Typically, the casting person gives a re-direct, if they've got one, and has the actor do it again immediately).

I had a nice scene from Starter Wife, as an agent - it was fun, and I immediately felt like I knew what to do with it.

Even so, I was more nervous than usual when my time came. Not sure why, but I was.

But my first instinct was right - I knew the scene was fun, and I knew what to do with it, so I didn't have any problem; when I finished, the casting person said I'd made "strong, clear choices", didn't have a re-direct for me, and put me in "the good pile" (I'm not sure she used that phrase, exactly, but basically, the people who weren't getting re-directs were the people she would have put through to the producers in a real casting situation. Which to me makes it "the good pile").

It was interesting to watch the other actors going up with a more critical eye (Which I think may have been Ms M's intent). And I guess I have a pretty good eye for casting, because of all the people I watched, I was only "off" on one or two (That I would have put through, and she gave re-directs to, or vice-versa).

If you're a young actor reading this, the biggest thing I notice, in general, with scenes that don't "work", and I've seen a lot of them at this point, is that usually the actor is going way too slowly - either speaking too slowly, pausing for way too long, or both. It drains the life out of a drama, and absolutely kills comedy.

I want to write about that at greater length (why scenes "work" or "don't work"), cause I think it's interesting (And may be interesting to you as well, particularly if you're an aspiring actor), but my weekly Weight Watchers meeting is calling.

Resisting Resistance

2008-08-24T01:39:00.000-07:00

I want to write about yesterday's workshop, because I thought it was particularly interesting.

But I'm pulling a serious fade right now, and it would take more time and energy than I have to give it it's due.

So I'm going to save that entry for tomorrow, and just tell you that I'm really enjoying The War Of Art - It feels like the rare self-help book that could actually make a difference in how I run my life.

I came out to LA to make a living as an actor, and in a larger sense, to be the person I feel I'm meant to be. To express myself, and at the same time, to be part of something larger than myself.

To do that, I'm going to have to get out of my own way.

And keep getting out of my own way.

Cause, for me, the The War Of Art is a war worth fighting.

"The War Of Art"

2008-08-23T08:45:00.000-07:00

I've just started reading The War Of Art, by Steven Pressfield (Subtitled, "Break Through the Blocks and Win Your Inner Creative Battles").

The book concerns a phenomenon called "resistance", where our minds fight

...any act that rejects immediate gratification in favor of long-term growth, health, or integrity. Or expressed another way, any act that derives from our higher nature instead of our lower.

I've wrestled with - and typically lost to - "resistance" all my life.

So it was a huge "win" when I overcame a lifetime of resistance, and came out to Los Angeles to become a professional actor; I'd made little "feints" in that direction over the years, but had never made a full-on, life-altering commitment to the idea.

Another victory is currently being won on the weight-loss front (Anyone reading this who's tried to lose weight before knows what I mean about "resistance").

This blog is also a victory over the forces of resistance - The idea of making money doing something I enjoy, something I'd been doing for free for years, was very appealing. But nevertheless, it was a struggle to get from "there" to "here".

The next front in the ongoing war is theater - I want to do theater, and it would be good for me to do theater, but here I am - not doing theater.

One thing I realized recently is that it's no good to make one bold decision about your life, then sit back and relax, patting yourself on the back for the "bold decision" you made - You have to keep making those bold decisions, because resistance doesn't go away.

The "War" goes on.

And somewhere down the line, I've got a book to write, drawings to draw, and a standup routine to perform.

But since I've gotten about four hours of sleep, and I have a casting workshop at 1:00, right now I've got a nap to take...

Land of the Free, Home of the Morbidly Obese

2008-08-22T11:07:00.000-07:00

This past October, I started going to Weight Watchers; a friend bought me an initial 10-week membership (I joke that she was tired of hearing me whine about my appearance, but I really think she was just concerned for me), and I took things from there.

As of my last weigh-in, I've lost over 63 lbs (To be precise, I've gone from 268.4 lbs to 204.8 lbs). And by the time I've gotten to my goal weight - and maybe a few pounds past it, for good measure - I'll have lost at least 75 lbs.

This relates to acting, and in particular, to my being a "character man", because a reason I wanted to lose weight in the first place was because I didn't want to just be cast in "fat schlub" roles.

Now, being the worrier I am, I'm afraid that because I'm not a "fat schlub" anymore, I won't get cast at all.

Part of the problem is an unfortunate coincidence - I've chosen to lose this large amount of weight the same year things have been all topsy-turvy in the business. So it's easy to turn not getting auditions/bookings because of the wacky goings-on between SAG and the AMPTP into not getting auditions/bookings because no one wants to cast me as a skinny guy (For the record, I'm 6'2" - So I wouldn't say I'm "skinny" just yet...but I'm getting there).

But while it's true there will be roles I'm no longer "right" for because of my reduced tonnage, it's also true there will be roles for "the new me" as well (And I'd theorize that since those "new me" roles will "match up" better with the way I see myself inside - as a guy who isn't a "fat schlub" - I'll be better prepared to audition for, and book, those roles).

And ultimately, even if there are more roles out there for "Fat Character Man" than "Skinny Character Man" - because we're in America, after all, "Land Of The Free, And The Home Of The Morbidly Obese" - I can't, for my own health and happiness, make a decision to be a big fat man.

When I get my big break, and see myself on the big screen, that's not the guy I want to see.

Don't Forget Your Headshots

2008-08-21T00:32:00.001-07:00

I left something out of my last post, and it's kind of important, if any acting hopefuls are reading this...

Getting ready for the workshop on Tuesday, I stapled a copy of my resume to a headshot.

Then I took a shower, got dressed, grabbed my headshot folder and the book I'm currently reading (The End Of Faith), and headed out to the Metro station.

It wasn't till I got to the ACG space in Studio City, and went to put my headshot on the table, that I realized something had gone terribly wrong - I'd never actually gotten my headshot into my headshot folder; it was still at home, lying on my bedside table, where it wasn't going to do anyone any good.

I was horrified.

Not having a headshot for the casting person is so amateur-hour (As an actor, your headshot is a combination business card and job application), I was tempted to just eat the money and go home, rather than start out making such a bad impression (the casting person hadn't gotten there yet).

But Molly convinced me it wasn't that big a deal (even though it really was), so I stayed.

And I did scrounge up a postcard with my picture and agency info on it, the textbook definition of "better than nothing" (And my scene with Tammy D. went so well that I was glad I hung around; at the beginning of the evening, the casting person might have thought, "Who's this loser that doesn't even have a headshot...?", but by the end, she was thinking, "That loser who didn't even have a headshot is a pretty good actor").

So the lesson here is - always make sure you have your headshots before you head off to your audition or workshop (Actually, you should always have a number of headshots with you, to cover any possible contingencies). Because you don't want a casting person's first impression of you to be as someone who doesn't have their act together.

Anyway...

Yesterday's audition (for "Orbitz", the online travel service, not "Orbit", the gum) went quite well, I thought.

It was a funny spot, and I like funny (And the deadpan, slightly depressed, weary character they seemed to want is something I can do very well).

So we'll see.

Whether or not anything comes of Tuesday's workshop, or this commercial audition, they were both fun, and I left each feeling I'd done my best.

It's important that the effort to get where you're going is fun. Otherwise, why bother?

Particularly as an actor - You're going to spend much more time trying to act than actually acting, so you'd better be up for that, and figure out how to enjoy the chase.

Or else, you better just go home and forget about it.

It's something, in mid-life, that's becoming increasingly important to me, that I figure out how to enjoy the life I have, as it's happening, and not wait until some magical day when I'm a successful actor before I allow myself to be happy.

A Good Night

2008-08-20T01:32:00.000-07:00

Had a workshop last night with Jamie Castro, an associate from Lowy/Brace Casting, the office that does Gray's Anatomy, Private Practice, and Friday Night Lights, along with some new show called The Washingtonian.

(I've done workshops with Will Stewart, a former Lowy/Brace associate who's now a CD himself, but never with Ms Castro. Who was really cute, by the way.)

It was a good night - Happily, I was paired with Tammy D., a regular who almost always hits home runs with her scenes, and we got a good one (As a couple in therapy because we've never once had sex during our four-year marriage).

We went over it outside, working the lines, and talking over the relationship enough to know we were on the same page with how to play the scene (In addition to seeing a lot of each other's work, we've been paired up a couple times before, so we're very comfortable working together).

When it was time to go back in, we went up early on, did our thing, and got a very good response.

Then Ms Castro gave us some backstory (The reason we've never had sex is because I'm not attracted to her - I like "big" women), and she had us do it again.

The scene had "worked" well the first time around - even the casting person said so - but the re-direct added an interesting wrinkle (I was much more guilty and uncomfortable the second time around, since it was my fault we were there).

Long story short, it was fun, and I know we both made a great impression, and that's what I'm looking for at these things.

Adding to the acting fun, I have a commercial audition later today - For Orbit, the online travel service (This is at least the third time I've gone in for an Orbit commercial. So hopefully, third time's the charm...).

So I should get myself to bed, since I have a (relatively) early day tomorrow...

Waiting By The Phone

2008-08-19T04:11:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I watched Rainn Wilson on Life After Film School.

At one point he said, as I've heard many, many other actors say, that you have to generate your own work, "...otherwise you're constantly waiting by the phone for the next audition, the next job, the next whatever, and that's no fun".

And he's right - it's kinda not (Getting the call is kinda cool...but it doesn't happen often enough. And you don't want to be constantly in the position where you can't do what you do until someone tells you you can).

On my other blog, I was just writing, at some length, about how I needed to be more "fearless", in my writing and acting, and how I needed to act because I'm an actor (And that's what I should be doing), and also because, as I said in here yesterday, casting people aren't going to see what I can do and be excited about it till I show them something.

And if I'm going to write an ongoing blog about acting and my acting career, and hope it'll be interesting enough to attract, and keep, long-term readers, I should actually act at some point.

Just a thought.

Living Vicariously Through Molly

2008-08-18T16:09:00.000-07:00

Well, my friend Molly had her audition for CSI Miami earlier today.

I was at her house last night (She and her roommate Jen, also an actress, invite people over on a standing basis for Sunday dinner), and at one point, I ran lines with her; it's the kind of stuff you've seen on "procedurals" a zillion times - cops asking the techno-geek what they've come up with off the broken computer - and Molly did a great job of "tossing off" the techno-speak while still sounding like a person.

But back to today; I emailed her after I got home last night, for a final "Break a leg", and she emailed me back after the audition; basically, she felt good about it in the room, which is nice (And that was a pretty important room).

So now's there's nothing to do but wait, and hope she gets the nod.

Nobody's nodding in my direction right now; technically, I'm still on "avail" for Wizards Of Waverly Place, but it seems pretty clear nothing's going to come of that, so at this point, it's on to the next thing.

Whenever that comes up...

I've seen a number of commercials on tv lately that I auditioned for, but didn't get (One night, I saw three in the span of an hour).

I always feel a little twinge when that happens - from missing out on the fun of the shoot, missing out on people seeing me on tv, and maybe most importantly, for commercials, for missing out on the sweet, sweet, money.

Theatrically or commercially - hopefully both - my time's coming. I've booked before, and I will undoubtedly book again.

While at Jen and Molly's last night, I said the only way anything was really going to happen for me is if people actually see what I can do.

Pretty bold, egotistical statement, but I think there's something to it.

Now all I have to do is figure out what it is I do that I think is so compelling, and figure out how to get people to see it.

Nice news regarding this blog: As of today, I've passed the halfway mark to getting my first check.

So thanks for reading, and thanks for clicking on the little ad. You're making my life just a little more fun, and a little more profitable.

This Is What Happens When I Don't Get Off At A Workshop...

2008-08-16T18:24:00.000-07:00

My workshop today - with Kevin Mockrin from Junie Lowry Johnson's office - was pretty disappointing.

Instead of putting us with partners, we read with him (On the whole, I prefer having a scene partner at these things. But reading opposite the casting person is better "practice", really, since that's what you'll be doing at an actual audition - reading with the casting person, or a "reader").

He gave me a very short scene from Desperate Housewives (Gaby is asking her priest - played by Yours Truly - to marry her and Carlos, just two weeks after the death of her husband Victor).

The scene was short, not uproariously funny, in my opinion, and the priest doesn't have much to do in the scene beyond register his chagrin at Gaby's behavior. I just didn't feel there was much to "work with"; basically, it's Gaby's scene (He should have given the scene to a woman, while he read the priest).

I did okay with it, and got some laughs ("Yes Gaby, the nine a.m. mass is still at nine a.m."). But "doing okay" and "getting some laughs" is not what I'm looking for at workshops, cause I'm pretty sure casting people don't come away from these things remembering the people who did "okay".

The actor who wants these workshops to pay off with work, not to mention the actor who wants to strut his stuff and gain/keep the respect of his fellows actors, wants scenes he can fly with, not scenes where the "reader" gets all the best lines.

(But to play "Devil's Advocate" with myself for a moment - Yes, I want to get really funny or dramatic scenes, whatever the case may be, that show the casting person just what I can do. Why wouldn't I? But the reality - for now, anyway - is that the kind of thing I did today is the kind of thing I could actually get called in for. And as I recall when I saw the actual episode, the guy playing the priest didn't bring the house down either...because, after all, the show isn't called Desperate Priests.)

But, long story short, I didn't get my acting rocks off today, and frankly, I felt jealous of the people who did.

For the record, this isn't the first time I've had this frustration (Sometimes I get good scenes, but often, I get scenes pretty much like today), and I'm betting it won't be the last time, but I'll spare you the full-on rant for now.

Afterwards, Molly told me she had an audition on Monday with Nan Dutton, for a "recurring" role on CSI Miami.

Pretty big deal, to go from not having your SAG card yet, to going in for a recurring role on a network show.

She got it because Ken (Her roommate Jen's boyfriend, who's going to be a villain on this coming season of Heroes), mentioned her name in passing to Nan Dutton...on a day he was juggling three auditions (For the record, I've had two auditions so far this month. But anyway...).

She wants to book it, of course, and I want her to book it, but I also told her that, whatever happens, it's a huge "win" - if she goes in and does well (Which she will), and for whatever reason, doesn't book the part (If she loses out to someone better known, for example), they'll still have seen her - she'll be "on their radar", and it won't be the last time she'll get in that office (For the record, the only part of this I said to Molly was that it was "a huge win").

While I don't begrudge Molly this opportunity at all - I recently wrote that she's "completely ready for the big leagues", or words to that effect - I just wish I were getting opportunities like that.

I really do.

Well, this just isn't going to be my most positive entry; I'm feeling a little "poopy" right now.

But while my goal on this blog is to be positive more often than not (In here, and in life in general), I also can't shy away from the fact that being a professional actor also involves wrestling with doubt and insecurity and other unpleasant, unsavory emotions.

And to succeed, you have to work through that crap, and come out on the other side.

And I will, trust me...just not right now.

(And I still want to write about those movies I saw yesterday. But I think at this point, we'd all be better served if I went outside and took a walk.)

Double-Featured

2008-08-16T10:33:00.000-07:00

Had a very fun movie double-feature yesterday.

In the morning, I saw Tropic Thunder (At the nearby M-Park 4, the theater I discovered has been four blocks away for about the past two years).

Then, late afternoon, I saw Vicky Cristina Barcelona in Los Feliz.

Very different movies, clearly, but both very enjoyable.

I particularly enjoyed "Vicky Cristina" - funny, sexy, thought-provoking, it's the best Woody Allen movie I've seen in years (Though prior to Match Point, which I liked but didn't love, I hadn't seen a Woody Allen movie in the theater in years).

(I'm going to write about these movies more at length in my next entry, but I haven't given myself much time to write at this point - I'm off to a workshop shortly - so I'm going to move on.)

The last movie I saw before yesterday's double-feature was Pineapple Express.

The primary reason to see that movie is James Franco, who's hilarious as the perpetually stoned pot dealer/friend of Seth Rogen's character (Rogen's good, but is basically doing the "Seth Rogan character" we've seen before).

Franco is so good in this movie, and so not good in movies where he's playing "straight", that it made me think of Brad Pitt, who I also think does much better in character roles than as a straight leading man.

I'd already been thinking about it, but Franco's performance really got me wondering about what my "sweet spot" might be as an actor. I mean, I want to think I'm "versatile" and can do anything, but what do I think I do particularly well, what roles would just come naturally to me?

But again, I've picked the wrong time to blog, cause I've gotta get my character-acting ass out the door - my workshop beckons.

Karaoke-ing The Night Away

2008-08-15T14:06:00.000-07:00

Well, karaoke was great fun last night.

I was a bit nonplussed when, after putting in my first song request ("Keep Your Hands To Yourself" by the Georgia Satellites), the DJ came out and told me that cd had been lost or destroyed or stolen - I've forgotten which - and was thus not available.

But after that little karaoke "hiccup" - And forgetting my imminently forgettable rendition of "How Sweet It Is (To Be Loved By You)" (My first song of the evening) - I did manage to get my performing rocks off; I only did one more solo (Cameo's "Word Up", which always goes over well), but I got up with four people to do "Bust A Move" (Which I've tried a couple of times solo, but never gotten all the way through it without stumbling over myself), worked a harmonica solo into some country song I've forgotten now, and did the recitative(sp?) section of "Are You Lonely Tonite?", Elvis-style (Jon, who runs the agency, was singing).

And unlike some past outings, we had a great turnout, and a number of people who were really entertaining onstage, who could either actually sing, were savvy performers, or both (One couple - Steven and Saskia - met when they were in The Lion King on Broadway, so yeah - they were pretty good).

All in all, a nice night.

Stealing From Jason Lee

2008-08-13T21:01:00.000-07:00

Remember how I decided to karaoke with folks from my commercial agency tomorrow night instead of attend a scheduled workshop? And how I'd felt guilty about it, but decided it was "important" to just have fun every-once-in-a-while?

Well, the workshop has now been canceled altogether.

But not because of me - the casting person who was coming in is pregnant, is apparently due any minute, and has been ordered to bed by her doctor.

Which makes me want to say how "everything works out for the best"...except for the fact that, as I've said before, workshop cancellations are happening more often these days, for one reason or another, and that's not good for ACG (Or for Molly, who's trying to make a living running ACG).

But anyway...last night's workshop, with Jayme Singer - from Dava Waite Casting (The office that casts Weeds and My Name Is Earl) - went very well.

This was the third time I've done a workshop with the express purpose of getting seen for My Name Is Earl, a show I'm totally right for - Nick Anderson used to be an associate there, but has since moved to Junie Lowry-Johnson, and Kari Kurto now has her own casting office (Nick, who I did a workshop and a special, 4-week "comedy intensive" with, has never called me in; Kari called me in for a two line co-star on Weeds that I didn't book).

When Ms Singer started handing out scenes, I had a feeling I was going to get paired with the other older, "distinctive-looking" actor there (In the real world, I interact with attractive people fairly often. But the world of workshop scenes is much more segregated) - and that's exactly how it went down.

(At the time, I thought my partner was the same bad actor I got stuck with at a recent workshop, doing a scene from NCIS, and I was crestfallen. But now I'm actually not sure if it was the same guy or not, since I've tried to burn that night from my memory.
But anyway...)

We got a scene from "Earl" (For fans of the show, it was the scene where Earl has slept with his friend Ralph's mother, leading Ralph to decide, somewhat sadly, that the only reasonable thing to do is kill Earl...after giving him 12 hours to get his affairs in order; I was playing Earl, and my partner was Ralph).

At one point, I asked my partner if he'd seen the episode in question - he hadn't - so I told him that Ralph had been played by Giovanni Ribisi, and that, "in my opinion", the "funny" in the scene comes from just how deadpan Ralph is about his decision to kill Earl (Actually, it's not totally "deadpan". It's more like "deadpan-shaded-with-low-key-regret").

Typically, in a play or on a set, it's considered "bad form" to give direction to another actor, so I'm always very hesitant about giving "advice" or "suggestions" to a workshop partner.

But since, in this situation, there's no "director", and I've paid good money to be seen by this casting person, and I don't want to look bad (Because casting directors have long memories), I will offer my opinions if my partner seems amenable to it, and I feel like I really have something helpful to offer.

Anyway, we went over the scene a number of times, got called back inside, and went up fairly early on.

And while nothing terribly interesting or funny had happened when we were working the scene outside, it went over like gangbusters in the room (Patrick R., one of the "regulars", pronounced it "the best scene of the evening"); Tim (my scene partner) was spot-on, and I did what I needed to do as well (More on that in a moment).

The casting person said it was very funny, didn't have a "re-direct" (Which always makes me happy), and we were done.

So now if you end up seeing me on "Earl" this year, you'll know how it happened.

(Molly also had a great scene - she pretty much always does. She doesn't have her SAG card yet, but she's totally ready for the big time - and a girl I'd never seen before was so good I told her afterwards she was going to be fronting her own sit-com within the next five years.)

When the workshop was over, a group of "regulars" went to Miceli's, an Italian restaurant nearby, and chatted about this and that, which was great fun.

(There was some worrisome gossip about Brett, my manager, but I'm not going to "report" on it here till I have more details.)

Oh, I was going to elaborate on "doing what I needed to do" in my scene last night...

I don't know if it's really a "dilemma", or if it's just a dilemma in my own mind, but since I'm usually doing very familiar scenes at these things (Mostly from tv, but sometimes from movies), I've sometimes felt in a bind, wondering whether I'm better off trying to emulate the actor who actually did the scene - particularly if I've seen the episode in question - or trying consciously not to.

The more I think about this, the more I think it could be an entire entry in itself (I was once given the "spider in the bathroom" scene from Annie Hall, such a Woody Allen-specific scene - and I bear no resemblance to Woody Allen - that it felt like deliberate sabotage on the part of the casting director).

But I will say, in this particular instance, I opted to, as much as possible, emulate (i.e. steal) as much of Jason Lee's performance as possible. Because I feel like it's such a distinctive character that to do something different just for the sake of being different would just make me come off badly.

And I think, since I have a good ear and a good sense of comedy (And can do the dialect well), but am not a mimic per se, I came off looking like I know how to do comedy - particularly this comedy - and would be a good "fit" for the show.

At least that's what I'm hoping (Who knows? Maybe it'll turn out Earl has a long-lost uncle).

And on that note, I think I'm going to close, and go for a walk.

Are We Having Fun Yet?

2008-08-12T15:14:00.000-07:00

I was hoping, by the time I wrote my next entry here, that I'd be telling you I booked Wizards Of Waverly Place.

But alas - While I may still get the call, I haven't gotten it yet. And since I want to keep this little venture humming along, by writing on a regular basis, I don't have time to wait.

(To the acting newcomer: What I'm doing right now - obsessing over a potential gig - is pretty much the worst thing you can do as an actor. It'll make you crazier than you no doubt already are. So you can read about me doing it...but never do it yourself.)

So beyond eying my cell phone, waiting for "the call", what's going on in my acting world this week?

Well, I have two casting workshops (I can't even tell you what offices they're from - all I've got written on my calendar are the names of the associates I'm seeing).

It was going to be three workshops - one tonite, one Thursday night, and one on Saturday afternoon - but I canceled Thursday's, because it conflicted with a rare karaoke outing organized by my commercial agent.

I was actually uncomfortable canceling a workshop in favor of karaoke; while karaoke has some value as "networking", it's mostly "just for fun", while getting in front of a given casting office can be pretty important to your career.

But that's just it - Your life, anyone's life, shouldn't be just about your "career".

It's important, every so often, to just have fun.

More "Wizards" News

2008-08-11T12:29:00.000-07:00

I was going to start this entry off with some comments about Pineapple Express, which I saw on Friday.

But I just got a call from my agent - the Wizards of Waverly Place folks emailed her, and want to "put a pin in me" from the 13th-19th.

And what does that mean, exactly?

I'm embarrassed to admit I don't actually know - neither my commercial agent or my manager use that particularly phraseology - and I was too embarrassed to admit my ignorance to ask.

But what I think it means is that I'm "on avail". And that means "You're on the short list, so keep your schedule open on these days till we tell you otherwise...just in case".

In any case, it's fun news.

And I feel pretty well-positioned to deal with whatever happens; if I get it, that'll be good for all the reasons previously mentioned (Credit, experience, etc). And if I don't get it, it won't be that big a loss (Because it's an Aftra gig, and I'll have to join the union. Meaning the check I'll get for the gig will go away soon as I get it).

When something like this happens, it's just nice to feel like "I'm in the game".

Three Cheers For "Happy Little Surprises"

2008-08-09T04:15:00.000-07:00

Since I didn't hear anything yesterday, I'm assuming the Wizards Of Waverly Place thing isn't happening.

Mildly disappointing, but not a big loss (Did I mention I wouldn't have made any money off it, because of having to sign up with AFTRA?).

Long story short, I want to get everything I go out for, but some things I want more than others.

(That said, I'm open to being happily surprised when I get "the call" on Monday.)

Yesterday's commercial audition for the NFL went well, I thought.

I was going in for the part of a guy on a film crew. And they had us go in in groups of three.

The premise is that we're the crew of a horror movie, grouped around a monitor, much more interested in the football game we're watching than what's happening on the set.

At the same time they had actors in for "crew members", they were also auditioning "ingenues" for the "Horror Movie" in the other room. So while we waited to go in and do our thing, we'd periodically hear blood-curdling screams from inside, which I found pretty funny - I enjoy surreal little moments like that at auditions, since it reminds me where I am.

When my group of three went in, they had us improvise watching the game (with the camera standing in as "the game"); we did two takes, the first with the game going our way, and the second with our team losing (Though we were instructed to, basically, not go nuts with our reactions either time).

I was glad one of my fellow actors - a huge guy who would have made pre-Weight Watchers me look skinny - took the lead with the "football talk". Cause left to my own devices, I would have just embarrassed myself (I'm not a "sports guy").

So anyway, callbacks for that will be next week - I think Wednesday - and I'll be surprised (And not in a good way)if I don't get the callback.

And speaking of commercials (And surprises) - there was a check from JS (My commercial agent) in yesterday's mail, for "wildspot" airings of my AT&T Yellow Pages commercial that I shot earlier this year.

Not a game-altering amount of money - just a pinch under $200 - but something that'll pay a couple bills, or groceries for the month, so that's cool.

And speaking of not game-altering amounts of money (Not yet, anyway), I also received my Google AdSense pin # in yesterday's mail).

I promptly went online and put it in, and now I'm totally good to go, with everything on the up-and-up.

Well, as I sometimes say in my other journal, I could go on, but then I wouldn't be sleeping...

Not Quite "Magical"...But Close

2008-08-07T20:37:00.000-07:00

Well, I don't know if I'd say the Wizards Of Waverly Place audition today was "magical"...but it did go very well.

When I got there and signed in, there were two other guys ahead of me, two younger, good-looking fellas.

They were so good-looking, I actually thought "That's all wrong - guys this good-looking are in front of the camera, not behind it".

(For the record, I've been cast as a "paparazzi" - Or would that be "paparazzo"? - in two commercials. I'm just saying.)

The two pretty-boys were in and out very quickly, but I assumed that was just how quickly things were moving, and didn't think much of it.

But when I went in and read with the casting person, we did it once, then he asked if I did accents.

And I don't remember what I said in reply, but it was something vaguely in the affirmative, so he asked me to do it again, try an accent (The scene is supposed to be taking place in Egypt), and do it "with even more energy".

And I did, doing an "accent" I'd define as "something vaguely Middle-Eastern".

Then he said they were going to "put me on tape", and asked me to step out for a moment.

When he called me back in, there were two more people in the room, two women. I don't remember their names, or if I was told what positions they held - but they were clearly decision-makers (And in this game, it's basically, "the more people in the room, the better", so I was happy to see them, whoever they were).

So I did the scene again on camera, and the vibe in the room afterwards was very positive.

So we'll see what happens.

It's an AFTRA show, which means 1) It doesn't pay as much as a SAG show, and 2) Since I'm an AFTRA "must join" at this point - because of a small 4-episode part I did on Passions last year - if I actually book the job, my shoot fee will be applied to my membership.

So financially, getting the job will be meaningless, at least in the short term.

But disappointing as that was to realize, I still would like to book it - for the credit, for the experience, for "bragging rights", what-have-you.

But while we're on the subject of "finances"...

I have a commercial audition tomorrow, a national commercial for the NFL.

And booking that would be "financially meaningful", so wish me luck.

(Hey, you know what? I think, just to "cover my bases", I'm going to go ahead and book both of them.)

A Long-Awaited Theatrical Audition

2008-08-07T12:45:00.000-07:00

In the month since starting this blog, I've worried a bit over my timing - "Nice job, Dude - Start up a blog about your acting career right when things have pretty much stalled out...".

So I'm happy to report that Direct Talent (My theatrical agency) called last night, and I have an audition for the Disney Channel show The Wizards Of Waverly Place in just a few hours.

I've never seen the show, so I looked it up online, then downloaded an episode off I-Tunes (So a big "Hip, Hip, Hooray!" for modern technology).

It's cute (At least the episode I saw - Maybe somewhere down the line it takes a dark turn towards extreme sex and violence and "adult situations". But it's Disney, so I'm guessing not).

If you're new to the biz and you missed it, it's very important that you actually know the show you're going in for. If you can't actually see an episode, at least look it up online so you're not just going in blind.

I'm going in for the role of "Photographer", and I have a little three-line "scene" with two of the principals.

So it should be fun.

But I'll have more to say about this later - Right now, I've got to go book a gig.

Thoughts On "The Dark Knight"

2008-08-06T13:24:00.000-07:00

(Okay, I have visitors, I'm getting comments, and people are clicking on my ad, which makes it official: I'm a happy camper. But anyway...)

I was supposed to have a workshop last night, but it was canceled due to lack-of-interest (Only four people signed up).

So since I had a little unexpected time on my hands, I saw The Dark Knight again (I don't typically see movies more than once anymore - partly because of money constraints, and partly because most movies don't really warrant it. But this movie is, in my opinion, worth a second look).

Once again, I marveled at Heath Ledger's "Joker".

As an actor, I have all kinds of questions about the performance that will probably never be answered - How much of the performance did he come onto the set with, and how much was worked out during shooting? Were all of his asides and little bits of business indicated in the script, or did he improvise some of them? Did he create a backstory for his character? Did he create his character from the outside-in, or from the inside-out? Did he get to offer any feedback on his "look"? - but long story short, however he did what he did, it's an amazing performance, a cinematic villain-for-the-ages.

In other words, color me impressed.

And after seeing this performance, for a second time now, I'm more saddened than ever that we lost such a talented, versatile actor so early.

I want to address two other things that seem to be big topics of discussion about the movie...

1. Christian Bale's "Batman voice".

I was less distracted/put off by it the second time around, but it was still...problematic.

As an actor, I totally "get" it - You're a guy dressed as a bat. You're playing a scary character , so you have to have a scary voice (Beyond that, you have to do something vocally to help "the suspension of disbelief". Otherwise, the audience would wonder why people weren't "putting two-and-two together" - "Gee, Batman sounds exactly like billionaire industrialist Bruce Wayne...").

But the trouble with "the voice" is that it's too one-note and inflexible.

Worse, it sounds, to my ears, too "put-on" - that's not a guy with a low, raspy, threatening voice, that's a guy affecting a low, raspy, threatening voice.

I don't know quite what you do about it. Have him work more with a vocal coach? Alter it mechanically? (Certainly "Lucius Fox" could come up with something.)

Maybe get Clint Eastwood to come in and dub his lines?

(Eastwood would have been a kick-ass "Batman" back-in-the-day. Though he would have sucked as "Bruce Wayne".)

Or maybe since the movie has made a Ba-jillion dollars at this point, they'll chose to just leave well enough alone.

2. Maggie Gyllenhall's looks/attractiveness/sex appeal.

While Katie Holmes got raked over the coals for her work in the first movie - I personally think she was mis-cast, but not egregiously awful - Miss Gyllenhall has been ripped to shreds in some quarters for being too "fugly" to be the "romantic interest" in this, or any, film.

I have to assume, since I've read this criticism almost entirely on the Internet, that the detractors are probably young guys, who aren't yet hip to the sexiness of "the total package". Cause personally, I think M.G. is plenty sexy; I actually like her looks (I think she's got beautiful eyes and a very pretty smile), but beyond that, she's smart and funny and talented, and "smart and funny and talented" always turns me on.

Well, I could keep waxing lyrical about the movie - As a "Batman" fan since I was in single digits, I think The Dark Knight is the best "Batman" movie yet - but if you're reading this and you've seen the movie, I'm actually more interested in what you thought.

Comments?

Help Me Help Myself

2008-08-04T14:35:00.000-07:00

Well, beyond that little bit of busy-ness last month (When I had three commercial auditions and a callback in the span of two weeks), things have been slow, slow, slow, on the acting front.

It can be hard, when it's slow like this, to "keep your spirits up", and not give over to fearful, negative thinking (Especially if you're really good at fearful, negative thinking, like I am). But if you're "in the biz" for the long haul, slow times are going to happen, and you just have to "keep the faith" that they won't last forever.

(According to the latest SAG emails I've been getting, SAG is continuing to "unofficially" negotiate with the AMPTP - through various sub-committees and back-channels - so hopefully, that'll mean more auditions, and more gigs, for Yours Truly, before too much longer.)

I was at Jen and Molly's house last night - two actor friends I met through the Actors Co-op Group (Molly runs the group now, and Jen sometimes helps her with auditioning potential new members) - and it's been slow for them as well (And Jen, in particular, had a two year period where she was having a great amount of success, more than Yours Truly).

We talked for awhile about theater, and how much we miss it (Like me, they both have a lot of musical theater experience, so we all had that in common), about acting classes, about marketing, and about how, while we all want to get auditions and book jobs, we also long to have acting be "fun" again.

That's been a big "issue" for me - It's been discouraging that, after over seven years, the most fun I have acting out here (The most "acting" I do period) happens at casting workshops where I'm paying people to watch me.

It's not quite what I had in mind when I first came out here.

But again, you have to "keep the faith". I know I have talent, I know I'm funny, I know I have a distinctive "look", and I'm not going to quit.

Which brings me to "marketing".

One thing you're supposed to do, one thing you have to do, as a professional actor, is market yourself. And it's something I've never really done, for various and sundry reasons - from the fact that it's expensive, and I usually haven't had the money, to the fact that it's tedious (And I don't like tedium), to the fact that I don't really believe most of the marketing actors do (At least of the "sending out postcards" variety) really does any good.

(I could easily do an entire entry - maybe even a series of entries - on my resistance to marketing myself.)

But it seems clear that since my "team" isn't getting me out there - I have a manager, a theatrical agent, and a commercial agent - and I'm not getting any younger, I need to figure out how to take matters more into my own hands.

Which has me thinking about theater again.

I think I'd be more enthused about "marketing" myself if there was something I was proud of marketing (My appearance in a genuinely funny or dramatic play or performance piece, for example). Not to mention meeting more people - "networking" is also a critical piece of the puzzle that I've largely been missing - who might be important to me down the line, or who might lead me to the people who are.

So the life I'm hoping to set up for myself out here, in a post-ArcLight theater/post-crappy-jobs-in-general world, and the life I want to be having in the very near future, is one where I'm doing the Weight Watchers thing (I've been in Weight Watchers since October, losing almost 60 lbs to date. And as of my most recent weigh-in on Sunday, I'm four pounds away from being able to work there), getting commercials and tv co-star things (And down the road, guest-star things and feature roles), and doing theater/live performing at night.

I think my main resistance to marketing, in terms of sending out postcards and such, is that I don't think my headshot really "sells" me. I don't think my resume really "sells" me.

I think I really sell me.

But I can't just think that, and expect people to somehow be magically drawn to me - I have to start actually making things happen.

And this is part of the process.

So again, if you've been reading along so far, and clicking on the ad (So I can make a little money for my efforts), I sincerely thank you.

Thanks for, in a nutshell, helping me help myself.

Going To The Movies

2008-08-02T17:28:00.000-07:00

I worked at ArcLight Cinemas, a high-end movie theater here in L.A., for 2 1/2 years - from November 2005 till this past May. Which is a long time to hold that kind of job ("That's like ten years in a regular job...", I've joked).

One of the "perks" of working at a movie theater is that you get to see movies for free. And it's a perk I took great advantage of over my time there.

Those free movies, in part, were what kept me at ArcLight longer than I really wanted to be (That, and the whole thing about needing to pay for food and rent and what-have-you).

But when it comes down to it, you don't want your main form of out-of-the-house entertainment to be the same place where you work. I was fine with it for awhile, but sure enough, towards the end I was starting to feel "stuck" - I didn't want to go somewhere and pay for a movie (Heaven forbid!), but at the same time, the more unhappy I became about working at ArcLight, the more I didn't want to spend all my off-hours there.

Besides that, ArcLight Hollywood (Now there's an ArcLight Sherman Oaks as well) didn't get all the movies that were out at any given time, because of competition with nearby Graumans and El Capitan. Not to mention there were just movies that were not going to play at ArcLight (smaller, independent films, for example).

So ironically, I was working at a movie theater and seeing a lot of movies for free, but sometimes "missing out" on movies I wanted to see, and movies that, as an actor, I should have been seeing (I saw, maybe, ten movies outside of ArcLight during the time I worked there. I had to be very motivated to venture outside the "free movie zone" that had been established).

Now that I'm done with ArcLight, and I'm back to seeing movies on my own, I'm realizing just how much I've missed "going to the movies". I've missed having it be, for want of a better term, an event.

It's been a pleasure to go to whatever movie I want to see, when I want to see it (We could only see movies at ArcLight from Sunday night through Friday matinee, and not on holidays). And I've enjoyed "renewing my acquaintance" with venues like the Vista, the Sunset 5, the Laemmle Grand, and so on (With a theater like the Vista, I feel happy just being there, if that makes sense).

(The last movie I saw was Kabluey at the Regent on LaBrea, a theater I'd never been to; it was a fun movie, and a cool venue that I would never have discovered during "The ArcLight Era".)

And maybe more than anything, it's been nice to re-connect with the excitement and good feeling going to the movies gives me most times. Because that "excitement" is part of what made me want to be an actor in the first place.

2008-07-31T10:17:00.000-07:00

Some Things I've Been Excited About Lately...

1. The second season start of Mad Men. Loved the first season, and I'm hoping they can maintain the high level of writing and acting they achieved coming out of the gate last year.

2. The Dark Knight (I keep wanting to call it The Dark Knight Returns, like the Frank Miller graphic novel. Which I'd love to see as a movie, by the way). And of course, like pretty much everyone else who's seen the movie, I was particularly taken with Heath Ledger's amazing work as "The Joker"; Going in, I was prepared, because of all the hype, to be underwhelmed, but now I'm on board in hoping he'll get a posthumous Oscar nod for his work. Cause it's just that good.

3. Dexter. I'm coming pretty late to the Dexter party - A couple weeks back, after sampling an episode on the Showtime website, I bought the first season box set, and am in the process of buying season 2 off ITunes as I write this.

4. Dr Horrible's Sing-Along Blog. Again, I'm late to the party, but I just saw this at a friend's house over the weekend, and thought it was great fun (Since watching it over the weekend, I've watched it again at Hulu. The whole thing reminds that I really want to work for Joss Whedon at some point - The sooner the better).

5. So You Think You Can Dance. While I think I've voted exactly once since the show began, this is my dance competition show of choice (Sorry Dancing With The Stars). Great dancing, pretty girls, and Cat Deeley, perhaps the best host ever - What more do you want? Take away Mary Whats-Her-Name's trademark screeching, and it's maybe the most purely entertaining thing I'm currently watching on tv.

Thanks For Dropping By

2008-07-29T17:37:00.000-07:00

I wanted to take a moment and say "Thanks!" to the people who've checked out this blog.

I'm especially appreciative of those of you who've helped a struggling actor out by clicking on my unobtrusive little ad, since I'd very much like blogging and acting, in some combination, to pay the bills in the future.

(As of today, I've made $3.07, which is $3.07 more than I've ever made from writing before. So I guess I can now say, for whatever it's worth, that I'm a "professional blogger".)

At this early stage of the game, I'm still thinking about exactly what I want this blog to be.

I imagine, to a certain extent, you'll tell me what you want this blog to be (BTW, comments are appreciated and encouraged. I'd enjoy knowing who's out there, or for that matter, knowing if anyone's out there).

But till then, I'm basically envisioning entries about my day-to-day life as an actor out here in Hollywood, interspersed with entries on acting and acting-related subjects in general.

I hope what I write will be of interest to a general audience. But I also hope I can offer helpful info to my fellow actors starting out in the business - I'm by no means an "expert" in any aspect of show business, but if you're just starting out, I might be able to help you avoid a pitfall or two.

So thanks again for stopping by. I hope you'll stay awhile.

If you do, I promise to try, best I'm able, to make it worth your time and effort.

Auditions And Workshops

2008-07-27T17:30:00.000-07:00

Since my last entry, I've had another commercial audition.

Considering how slow it's been so far this year, having three commercial auditions and a callback in the past two weeks has me almost doing a happy little jig (Though I won't actually do "a happy little jig" till I actually book something).

The latest audition, this past Thursday, was for Marshalls, for the role of "Blue Collar Guy".

Like with Campbells, there wasn't much to it - I had to inspect and fold a pair of jeans (After I did a take, the camera guy had me do another, directing me to "not care so much") - which basically means it's going to come down to a "look". Which, as I think I've suggested before, is a lot of what commercials are all about.

I think callbacks are scheduled for this coming Thursday, so cross your fingers.

Interesting note (Interesting to me, anyway): The audition was for Ross Lacey at the Casting Studios on LaBrea (I like having auditions there cause it's an easy bike ride from my apartment in K-town). And who should I see when I went upstairs but 80's porn star Ginger Lynn (I think she goes by Ginger Lynn-Allen now), sitting by herself on one of the benches in the large waiting area.

I thought about saying something - but what? "Thanks for all the orgasms"? - but contented myself with a simple "How's it goin'?" and then left her be (I never saw her filling out paperwork or being called into one of the rooms - a number of auditions were going on that day - and it's hard to imagine your average advertiser overlooking her pornographic past, so I don't know what her story was. Maybe she'd just accompanied an actor friend there for "moral support". But anyway...).

It's another thing I like about what I'm doing - You never know who you might run into.

So beyond hoping for a callback, there's nothing currently on my acting dance-card in the coming week, beyond some casting workshops on Tuesday and Thursday.

And speaking of casting workshops...

In last week's Backstage West, there was a "Letter To The Editor" from Casting Director Billy DaMota, responding to a July 2nd article on casting workshops ("Worth The Price?") by Stacey Jackson.

Long story short, Mr DaMota is vehemently opposed to casting workshops, seeing them as clearly illegal activity - basically, paying potential employers for a job interview, which is illegal under California labor law (the word "bribery" comes up in his letter).

This strong opposition to casting workshops has apparently made Mr DaMota something of a pariah in the Los Angeles casting community, since it's a pretty major "second income" for a lot of CDs and their associates.

(I don't read Backstage on a regular basis, but I went online afterwards to read the original article, which was more a "how to benefit from casting workshops" piece than something addressing the "paying for access" controversy).

Personally, when I first came out to LA, I didn't do casting workshops for years - Partly because I didn't want to "pay for access" to casting people ("I came out to LA to make money acting, not to pay people to watch me act"), and partly because even if I'd been willing to "pay for access", I didn't have the money.

I don't have the time or inclination to hash over the debate in here (It's beyond the scope of one blog entry, in my opinion), but I have to say that I'm not unsympathetic to Mr DaMota's views.

But for about three years now, I've been going to workshops at the Actors Co-op Group in Studio City, and at this point in the game, I only wish I'd started doing workshops sooner.

You can debate the merits, the ethics, what-have-you, of casting workshops (Whether they're "educational" or whether they're "auditions for pay"), but in my personal experience, they've worked - my first theatrical auditions (And bookings) came directly from seeing those casting people at workshops - and it's very hard for me to argue too strenuously against something that's worked.

Besides, as an actor, they're tax-deductible.

Losing The Battle, But Winning The War

2008-07-23T11:47:00.000-07:00

(Just started this blog, and I'm already "falling behind". But anyway...)

The Campbells thing isn't gonna happen. Mildly disappointing - it's always nice to book things, after all - but only "mildly"; my bills are getting paid, I'm not going hungry, and it's not like it's going to be an especially funny or memorable spot, so in the great scheme of things, it's no big deal.

I was actually more disappointed over a commercial audition I had last Wednesday (For a mysterious spot identified only as "Project X", that was supposedly for some computer product, but with copy that had nothing to do with computers).

That audition took place at an agency I like - Kathi Knowles - where they typically give you a really good shot at doing your best. And there was copy, which I like, and it was a funny spot, which I also like, and I'd left pretty good about my chances. I'd gotten a chance to "act", and had felt good about what I'd done.

I didn't even get a callback.

Which just goes to show - As an actor, you have no idea how these things are going to go. You can't see yourself (Which is why "on camera" classes are a good idea), you don't know what they're looking for, and in all likelihood, you'll never know why you didn't book the gig.

So unless you totally screwed up - which most of the time, you probably didn't - you can't attach a lot of "meaning" to any one audition. You just have to, as much as humanly possible, do your best, then forget about it and move on.

That's something, seven years down the road, that I'm still "working on".

The way I've come to look at auditioning is that, realistically, I'm going to lose most of the time. That's just "the nature of the beast". So to spend my time being heartbroken every time they say "thanks, but no thanks" just doesn't make sense.

But by the same token, I have enough faith in my "look", and my "talent", to feel confident (on my good days) that I can win often enough to make headway in the business. And to, over time, have something resembling an honest-t0-God "career".

On Sunday, I had a special day-long casting workshop with Nan Dutton, the casting director for CSI Miami.

Nan is quite a character - big, loud, very profane, and very funny - and she was worth the money for the entertainment value alone. But looking past the bombast and the f-bombs, I think she imparted some pretty valuable information.

I haven't seen the show in years - shame on me, really; I should have made a point of catching an episode or two before she came in - but at the end of the day, I didn't feel like I'd made any big impression on her (I don't think I'm the type of actor they typically need for the show, and with the way she was name-dropping, I don't think she has any interest in "discovering" a middle aged character actor when she could be finding "the next Brad Pitt").

But like I said about commercial auditions - You can't really see how you're coming across, and you don't know what they want (Or what they may want in the future), so who knows?

Somewhere down the road, a part might come up on the show that I'm exactly right for. And the little "seed" I planted on Sunday will grow into the guest-star role that takes my career to the next level.

It could happen.

And that's one of the things that makes doing what I'm doing worth doing.

Maybe Not "Stunned", But Definitely "Surprised"

2008-07-18T15:33:00.000-07:00

Well, shows what I know...

I have a callback for Campbells on Monday.

Who knows?

Maybe they liked the mustache.

Commercial Blues

2008-07-15T14:35:00.000-07:00

Just got off the phone with my commercial agent...

I called him recently, after noticing the Cold Stone Creamery commercial I did last year was still running on their website; I wanted to know if that meant I was entitled to more $$$.

And it turns out, I am entitled to more $$$. The Internet contract expired on the 20th of last month (And I just checked - as of now, the website is still up, and the commercial is still on it).

Anyway, my agent called Cold Stone, and he called the ad agency - I believe it was Saatchi & Saatchi - and has gotten no response (He actually called them a couple of times).

He hasn't heard back from anyone, and told me they clearly plan to do nothing about it, hoping it'll just go away.

So now the ball's in my court - While I'd like my agent to take this further, he's got 200 actors to deal with, so he's pretty much done what he's gonna do for his 10% - so I've downloaded the "claim inquiry" form from the SAG website, and me and SAG will be taking things from here.

(I'm not the happiest actor in the world as I write this - Why can't the people in power in these situations ever just do the right thing? - but this is the "business" part of "Show Business". They want to screw me, I don't want to be screwed, and this is why professional actors need a union.)

While we're on the subject of commercials...I had the Campbell's Soup audition yesterday.

It was nothing - I was basically supposed to act like I was making soup - and I left feeling vaguely depressed; as often as I tell myself not to look for acting satisfaction when doing commercials (Or commercial auditions), it's still tough sometimes to feel like it's basically a "face lottery", as I once heard an actor refer to the process, that has little or nothing to do with acting.

(Sometimes you go in for something that involves a little acting, something funny and fun, but more often than not, not.)

Anyway, I didn't leave with the sense that "I could book this". On the contrary - I'd be stunned if I booked it. To be honest, I don't even think I managed to look credible making soup.

(But don't get me wrong - I'd be "stunned" to get it, but in this particular scenario, I'm up for being "stunned".)

So anyway, I'm feeling a tad "bluish" right now.

But it'll pass.

Auditions Are Good

2008-07-14T09:49:00.000-07:00

I have a commercial audition later today, for Campbells Soup (For the role of a chef).

It's at Danielle Eskinazi, a place that, happily, calls me in quite often.

It's also the place where we once had a mini dust-up over my being turned away at an audition (If you're new to "the biz" and reading this: If you ever go to an audition and are turned away, because of some miscommunication between the casting agency and your agent, don't say anything to the casting people, unless it's "sorry for the confusion...". Don't complain, don't explain, don't anything-they really don't like that. Just leave, call your agent, and let them sort things out. That's what your agent is for, after all).

All I need for today's audition is a white shirt and dark pants, which I have. But my white shirt has seen better days, so I'm going to buy a new one.

Shirt-buying is pretty much all the preparation there is to do; all I know of the commercial is what I just told you (That, and that if I book the spot, I'll be required to sip beef broth, which basically makes it "The Role I Was Born To Play" in "The Spot I Was Meant To Book").

For commercial auditions, you just have to go in, be up-beat, try to be "loose" - since you don't know what's going to be required of you - and have fun.

But now it's off to the shirt-buying-place...

What Happens Now?

2008-07-10T23:17:00.000-07:00

So the AFTRA contract has been ratified.

I've read that these things typically pass by 90% or better, so SAG's "Vote No" campaign apparently had some effect (The vote was 62% in favor).

Just not enough effect.

I somehow thought that meant SAG would be quickly agreeing to the deal on the table, but clearly, I don't know my SAG leadership very well - I read earlier this evening that they rejected the "final offer" from the AMPTP.

And the dance goes on.

(For the record: I've been in SAG for three years now, and am about as involved in my union as I am politically, which means that I vote...and that's about it. So I'm not likely to be a font of wisdom and clarity here, since I'm trying to figure things out myself.)

In a perfect world, I'd like to see SAG get everything it's asking for, because it's all pretty fair, reasonable stuff. But with the economy like it is, with people still smarting from the WGA strike earlier this year, and with the AFTRA membership ratifying their contract, it doesn' t look like its in the cards for SAG to get anything appreciably better than the other unions got.

That being the case, I would like to see the AMPTP offer some face-saving extra incentive for SAG to agree to the deal, so we can put this year's ugliness behind us.

And hopefully, SAG will start working immediately on how to not have this be the outcome the next time out.

Very Humble Beginnings

2008-07-09T14:32:00.000-07:00

I am an actor.

A 47-year-old, "distinctive looking" character man.

While I wasn't always 47 years old, I've always been "distinctive looking", and I've always been a character, even before I knew what the word "character" meant. But it's only been in recent years - the past seven, to be precise - that I've committed to being a professional character.

Which brings us to the present day.

Now I live in a K-town single in LA, just me and Kipper (My 9 year old "Craigslist Cat"), as I try making an honest-to-God acting career happen in mid-life.

(Okay, maybe the far end of "mid-life", but why quibble over semantics?).

I've had a small measure of success - at this writing, and for about a month-and-a-half now, I'm doing what many actors can only dream of, and living off the proceeds from my work (Fortunately, beyond basic food and shelter - and cable and high-speed internet - my needs are few) - but in terms of "climbing the ladder to success"? Well, on a good day, I feel like I've finally got a foot on the first rung.

I have another blog I've kept for years, since before I came out to Hollywood, but recently, I've started wondering if a more specific blog, about my acting experiences, would be worth exploring.

I've also started wondering - I'm just full of "wonder" these days - whether I have it in me to be a "hyphenate" actor/writer.

I've "wondered" about it, I've "thought" about it, but as a writer friend told me recently, "Writers write".

And that made sense to me.

So here I am. Not "wondering", not "thinking", but writing about it. Seeing what I have to say, what stories there are to tell. Wondering, in the days and weeks to come, if I'll find an audience (Or if an audience will find me).

I'm starting this blog not knowing exactly what it'll be, but hoping it'll be interesting to find out.

Hopefully, you'll find it interesting too.